This week’s Pop Quiz question came to us from Fred George of Danbury, Conn.: Name the former World Series Most Valuable Player who appeared in all three “Major League” films.
Countless people, be they fellow media folk, baseball industry contacts or tweeps, have said to me this year: “I’m so sorry you have to cover the A-Rod nonsense.” Or even better: “I know this isn’t why you got into this.”
Well, don’t cry for me, Argentina. This has been one of the most enjoyable assignments of my career. And this is precisely why I wanted to cover baseball. If I wrote only about the games and Hot Stove stuff, my brain would turn to mush like Garry’s did in this episode of “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show.” I enjoy the variety.
The saga hasn’t ended, but we’ve hit an important landmark with the conclusion of Alex Rodriguez’s appeal hearing against MLB. So let’s produce a special offseason Friday Five — shoot, let’s legally enhance this feature and call it a Friday Six — to share my favorite days in the A-Rod/Biogenesis saga since the story first broke in January:
1. Fenway Martyr: Aug. 18 at Fenway Park
When the day began, we were all still recovering from the introduction of Joe Tacopina as a new character, as the attorney ripped into both MLB and the Yankees on behalf of A-Rod. A couple of hours before first pitch of a Sunday night game, Yankees general manager Brian Cashman sat in the visitors’ dugout at Fenway and verbally obliterated his club’s highest-paid player, saying he was limiting his exchanges with A-Rod to “hello” and “goodbye” out of fear that anything else would be distorted. Amazing stuff.
And the buzz from that story lasted … until the top of the second inning, when Red Sox starting pitcher Ryan Dempster threw with clear intent at A-Rod, hitting him on the fourth pitch.
Suddenly, it didn’t matter that A-Rod was at war with his own organization. His teammates rallied around him, screaming at Dempster from the dugout, and Joe Girardi got ejected — all against the backdrop of Red Sox Nation enthusiastically supporting Dempster’s decision to become a vigilante.
Dempster, of all people, made A-Rod a sympathetic figure. On the same day that one of his bosses torched him. Oh, and for good measure, A-Rod homered off Dempster in the sixth inning.
2. The Walkout: Nov. 20 in Manhattan.
Yes, I think A-Rod staged his walkout from the arbitration hearing two days ago, but I also think it’s beside the point. Planned or unplanned, storming out of the hearing room was imbecilic.
Also hilarious, though, and the subsequent interview with Mike Francesa was pretty brilliant. Superb PR strategy to cast Bud Selig as A-Rod’s foil. While the argument has no foundation of fact or logic, my sense (from email and Twitter interactions) is it’s working pretty well, at least in New York.
3. Trenton Thunder: Aug. 2 at Arm & Hammer Park
Amidst some media speculation that A-Rod would never wear a Yankees uniform again, and with MLB just days away from imposing discipline on the Biogenesis clients, A-Rod put on a Trenton Thunder uniform and showed he might actually have something left when he crushed a mammoth home run to left field off top Phillies prospect Jesse Biddle. Until then, there was little reason to think A-Rod had much to offer on the field. He of course wound up helping the Yankees considerably upon his return to the big leagues.
But this wouldn’t have made the Friday Six if that’s all that occurred. A-Rod then sat in a post-game news conference and publicly stated, for the first time, his conspiracy theory that MLB and the Yankees were working in concert to destroy him. It’s hard to imagine having any more fun in Trenton than we did that night.
4. HAA HAA: Oct. 1-2 outside MLB’s Park Avenue headquarters
A-Rod’s arbitration hearing officially became a circus with the arrival of Hispanics Across America, a little-known group that saw an opportunity to vastly expand its brand identity by latching onto A-Rod and protesting against MLB right on Park Avenue. It planned its debut for Day 2 of the hearing (Oct. 1), except its leader, Fernando Mateo, didn’t even last long enough to speak. He allegedly got into a scuffle with an MLB security guard, got coffee spilled on him and somehow injured his neck in the process.
Mateo showed up on Oct. 2 wearing a neck brace that seemed suspiciously similar to the one Mr. Dugan wore in “The Brady Bunch.” He proceeded to discuss the A-Rod case and exhibit that he had zero comprehension of the case’s specifics or the MLB arbitration process. And he ditched the neck brace the following day.
But the topper was when Mateo declared he knew of several Yankees fans who were prepared to give up their season tickets, and he introduced his “Jewish friend,” a soft-spoken man wearing a yarmulke who affirmed that yup, he would give up on the Yankees as protest.
I wound up seeing Mateo repeatedly, and I made sure to ask him occasionally, “How’s your neck?” and “How’s your Jewish friend?”
5. South Side Simultaneousness: Aug. 5 at U.S. Cellular Field
Surely A-Rod will go down as the only person in baseball history to receive a 211-game suspension and return after a 110-game injury absence on the same day. It was a characteristically amazing confluence of events that allowed this to happen.
So in a wacky pre-game news conference, A-Rod had to address the multiple issues of his imminent return and his possible departure. This is when he uttered his infamous line, “I’m fighting for my life.”
For sure, while this day ranks only fifth on my list, it was the most notable day of the season for the dreadful White Sox.
6. “No, Not That Michael Gross”: July 24, the airwaves
A-Rod, having rehabilitated from hip surgery, thought he was ready to return to the Yankees. The Yankees disagreed. So what would any rational person do? Get a second opinion via telephone, then send that ill-equipped doctor on a media tour.
That’s what A-Rod did, allegedly sending results of an MRI exam of his left quadriceps to a New Jersey orthopedist and telling him that he felt fine. Within hours or so of promoting A-Rod’s good health to Francesa, the doctor sounded regretful for ever getting involved.
The best part of all, though, was the orthopedist’s name: Michael Gross, the same moniker as the beloved actor who played Stephen Keaton on “Family Ties.” There’s just no way this story could have been better. And yet it’s only number six.
The Pop Quiz answer is Steve Yeager. If you have a tidbit that connects baseball with popular culture, please send it to me.