This is one of those weekends where — in places like Denver and Indianapolis, in Foxborough and East Rutherford, in Atlanta and New Orleans, in Green Bay and Seattle, in Baltimore and San Francisco, in San Diego and Pittsburgh, in Detroit and Washington — you are reminded to thank your lucky stars your team has a franchise quarterback who plays every Sunday, Monday or Thursday night.
And while you’re at it, perhaps you can commiserate with the poor souls scattered across so much of the NFL who are forced to stomach The Replacement Quarterbacks who are being pressed into emergency duty this week.
We’re talking about you, Cleveland, and you, Buffalo, and Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia and St. Louis.
Serby Says has enlisted the expertise of elite CBS analyst and peerless NFL quarterback evaluator Rich Gannon to break down The Replacement Quarterbacks:
JASON CAMPBELL (Browns): Arguably the best of the lot because of his experience. Drafted 25th, one spot below Aaron Rodgers, in 2005 by then-Redskins coach Joe Gibbs. Is 31-42 as a starter (78 TDs and 52 INTs) following a 23-17 loss last week to the Chiefs in which he posted a 105.4 passer rating and had critics asking why Rob Chudzinski and Norv Turner started the season with Brandon Weeden, switched to Brian Hoyer and went back to Weeden first. Will threaten deep to Josh Gordon.
“We trust in him,” tight end Jordan Cameron said.
He’ll be a hero if he can break the Browns’ 11-game losing streak to the Ravens.
JOSH McCOWN (Bears): A better-than-most hold-the-fort guy for Jay Cutler given his 11 years in the league.
“He’s probably the best No. 2 you could have,” Brandon Marshall said.
Gannon says coach Marc Trestman won’t have to change much for the heady McCown.
“He’s not going to panic,” Gannon said. “He has better mobility than you think. He’s willing to pull it down and run and make a couple of first downs. He can take some pace off the throw. I think they can win with him.”
CASE KEENUM (Texans): An undersized local free agent loaded with moxie who left the University of Houston as the NCAA all-time passing leader (19,217 yards, 155 TDs). Has become the people’s choice over pick-6 pariah Matt Schaub. Was not overwhelmed at Arrowhead against Chiefs in first NFL start two weeks ago. Gannon has been impressed with his poise.
“He’s not going to overwhelm you with his physical abilities,” Gannon said. “I think he’s a pretty good fit in their system. At the end of the day, they’re going to have to help him.”
The Colts will look for pressure up the middle.
“You want to force this guy to function as a pocket passer,” Gannon said.
Gary Kubiak will have to think about installing some shotgun/pistol formations to help Keenum.
“It’s important to tailor your game plan around the things he has a history with, the things he does well,” Gannon said. “Gary’s always been a quarterback-friendly guy in terms of calling a game.”
NICK FOLES (Eagles): Back from the concussion he sustained against the Cowboys. Gannon loves his arm.
“He can sling it,” Gannon said. “He can heave it 60 yards on a line. I think he’s got a future in this league. The big issue with him last year was the ball security. Now what he has to learn is to protect himself. That takes a while for young quarterbacks.”
KELLEN CLEMENS (Rams): Eric Mangini drafted him in the second round in 2006 as the successor to Chad Pennington. Oops. Enter Brett Favre. Exit Brett Favre. Enter Mark Sanchez. Exit Clemens. Gannon likes his smarts and makeup as a veteran good guy backup who understands his role. Asked what has prevented Clemens from becoming a starter, Gannon said: “It’s accuracy and the three or four decisions that creep into his game where you kind of scratch your head and say, ‘Why did he do that?’ ”
JEFF TUEL (Bills): He’s the next man up, barring a miraculous recovery by Thad Lewis (ribs). Undrafted rookie free agent took a beating at Washington State, where he was 4-24 as a starter.
“He’s probably the one you worry about the most,” Gannon said.
A Super Bowl XXV Giants game plan would be his only chance against the ravenous Chiefs.
“I don’t think he overwhelms you physically when you watch him throw the football,” Gannon said. “If you’re [offensive coordinator] Nathaniel Hackett, you’re going to scale back your volume. It’s got to be a game-plan specific attack against Kansas City. Kansas City is just going to try to smother this kid.”
And we haven’t even mentioned Christian Ponder (Vikings), Replacement Quarterback for Josh Freeman, or rookie Mike Glennon (Buccaneers), Replacement Quarterback for… Josh Freeman.