“Survivor,” the grandfather of reality show competitions, returns Wednesday night at 8 p.m. for its 28th — 28th! — season. The new season, “Survivor: Cagayan,” begins with yet another stunt, this time breaking the castaways into three tribes separated by beauty, brawn and brains. Coming off a surprisingly great fall season, which saw “Survivor” returnees battling their loved ones, the pressure’s on for the show to maintain its momentum — and this season’s twist may just do the trick. But we’ve got a few more loving suggestions for the show to return to its former glory.
Enough with the physical challenges that end with a puzzle
In the early seasons, it was normal for a challenge to rely solely on either physicality or mental prowess. These days, virtually every challenge seems to be some form of “run and collect the puzzle pieces,” followed by “solve the puzzle.” Not only is the formula boring and repetitive, it removes any real sense of urgency during the first half of the challenge.
Somebody shut Jeff Probst up already
Remember when Probst was an impartial host, observing from the sidelines and simply facilitating conversation at Tribal Council? Now, Probst inserts his own thoughts and opinions so aggressively, it’s obvious whom he’s rooting for — which almost always is the most macho dude. Last season, for example, no one cared about Brad Culpepper even half as much as Probst.
Banish Redemption Island forever
Last season the twist provided some interesting plot points because of the loved-one dynamic. But for the most part, all Redemption Island does is diminish the importance of Tribal Council. It’s not nearly as devastating to hear “The tribe has spoken” when you know you’re going to see the dude compete in duals for five more weeks.
Diversify already
“Survivor” has come under criticism since the very beginning for its lack of racial diversity. The show addressed this in its 13th season by controversially splitting contestants into four tribes based on race. While the show took a lot of heat for that move, it was the boldest statement the show has made in its casting. Since then, things have gotten a bit better — five of the 18 castaways this time appear to be non-white — but there’s always room for improvement. The show could also feature more than one token gay contestant (no, we’re not counting Colton Cumbie and his boyfriend, because that season was about pre-existing relationships.) And while we’re on the subject, how about a few more people who aren’t conventionally attractive?
Return to having a final two instead of a final three
Having a third person in the finals almost always leads to a castaway being carried to the end simply because they won’t get any votes. This is not fun to watch. It is the worst.
Allow the location to tell a story
In the beginning, the locale of the season was a major factor in the show’s character. The landscape of the Australian Outback was essential to season two, as were locations like Africa, the Marquesas, Thailand, China and the Amazon. Recent seasons have been virtually indistinguishable, and for good reason — this season marks the fourth in a row set in the Philippines.
Stop bringing back the same “Survivors” over and over
Many, many contestants have now played three or four times. If anyone wants to see Rupert Boneham slog through the game again, they should go buy the “Pearl Islands” DVD set for $16.46 at Amazon and spare me the agony. Luckily, this season doesn’t have any repeats. Let’s keep it that way.