The people have spoken … and they didn’t care for Carrie Underwood in “The Sound of Music.” But that doesn’t matter, because, while they were hating, they were also watching — in big enough numbers that NBC’s talking about doing another live musical sooner rather than later.
But which one should it be?
Here’s my dream list, followed by shows I’d rather not be subjected to in high def.
The 5 musicals I’d love to see on live TV
“Dreamgirls”
Inspired by the rise of Diana Ross and the Supremes, this 1981 classic boasts a faboo pop/R&B score that includes the stone-cold show-stopper “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.” Warning: If the casting’s right, this telecast could lead to episodes of spontaneous viewer self-combustion.
“Grease”
The best thing about “Grease” is that it doesn’t age — it was already retro when it opened back in 1972. Hardcore Broadway fans may sniff at it, but I’d take this show over a fair number of Sondheim musicals. There, I said it!
“West Side Story”
There’s a reason this 1957 masterpiece endures: The “Romeo and Juliet”-like story is a timeless tragedy and the score is one of the best ever, loaded with hits like “Maria,” “America” and “Somewhere.” It would also be fun to see a TV director figure out how to film Jerome Robbins’ explosive choreography — hint: remember to include the feet in the frame before you mambo!
“Funny Girl”
Jule Styne’s 1964 musical tells the ever-enduring showbiz story of a star’s climb to fame, and it requires an alpha actress. Fun casting games! Just as long as we don’t end up with the insufferable Lea Michele, whose “Glee” character actually is in “Funny Girl.”
“Hairspray”
Funny book, upbeat message, catchy score, and plenty of opportunities for larger-than-life (ahem) star turns: “Hairspray” has it all.
5 musicals that would make me switch to “Duck Dynasty”
“Beauty and the Beast”
This was Disney’s first Broadway hit and it remains many people’s sentimental favorite, but, boy, is it treacly. The prospect of having to listen to Lumière and Cogsworth’s arguments again brings me down.
“Mamma Mia!”
The movie’s gloriously, fantastically silly — and it’s much better than the show that inspired it. Leave that one exiled on its Greek island on 44th Street.
“My Fair Lady”
The songs are loverly, of course, but whoever would be cast as Eliza Doolittle would face an avalanche of bitchy “She’s not Julie Andrews” comments. And we’ve just been through that, thank you very much.
“Oklahoma!”
Sure, it’s popular and folksy. But it’s also by Rodgers and Hammerstein, who wrote “The Sound of Music.” Can we not? I’d rather choke on a corn dog than sit through Curly and Laurey’s homey romance.
“Damn Yankees”
A couple of (admittedly great) numbers don’t make a show. So unless we get the original Bob Fosse choreography — and even then — it’s ixnay on this one.