From Far Rock to Jamaica, in the Marcy Projects of Brooklyn, and up in The Bronx, kids know 50 Cent isn’t a gangsta anymore — he’s just a storyteller whose heroes are thugs ready to cock a Glock and party with the ladies.
50 CENT “Before I Self Destruct” 3 1/2 stars
Thankfully, the material for “Before I Self Destruct,” his fourth and much-delayed studio album, is fiction, not real-life friction — but that doesn’t make his tales of street-corner society any less engaging.
Mothers Against Everything will no doubt be shocked as Fitty raps about sex, drugs and general thuggery, but the rhymes are clever.
Mr. Cent even makes a nice bow to hip-hop history in “Gangsta’s Delight,” a rush of references ranging from Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” to Kid Rock’s
“Bawitdaba.”
Eminem helps out Fitty on the track “Psycho.” That rap is the record at its sickest, with Slim Shady bragging about burying his former girlfriends in the back yard. Not very PC, Em, but the beats are excellent on this piece, which was tuned by producer Dr. Dre. But 50 Cent could have done without R. Kelly’s help on “Could’ve Been You.” Kelly’s smooth groove is totally out of character with the rest of this disc.
KRIS ALLEN “Kris Allen” — 2 1/2 stars
On Kris Allen’s self-titled CD, the “American Idol” winner turns in a collection that has no real consistency and lacks a serious single anybody is going to remember. The 13-track album zigzags between upbeat near-country tunes and snoozy ballads. As his fans will attest, he has a good pop voice, but without a sizzling hot tune he hardly makes any impact.
He comes close on the bouncy acoustic guitar strum-along “Alright With Me” and the rocking disc opener “Live Like We’re Dying,” but whenever he get his juices flowing on this record, he pulls back with a momentum-killing ballad — and all of his ballads sound the same.
JOHN MAYER “Battle Studies” — 2 1/2 stars
John Mayer’s last album, “Continuum,” was a unique collection, combining his love of the blues with elements of contemporary pop. His latest, “Battle Studies,” is beautifully produced; whether on a boombox or big stereo speakers, there is fantastic clarity that displays Mayer’s gentle voice and his delicate guitar work.
Sadly, this is also a gritless record that’s too smooth for its own good. That’s especially true on “Half of My Heart,” his radio-ready duet with Taylor Swift, as well as the moody “Perfectly Lonely.”
Mayer could have made up for some lost ground on his cover of the Robert Johnson classic “Crossroads,” and he could have reminded us all that he’s a student of the late great Stevie Ray Vaughan’s guts-and-glory guitar style. Instead, Mayer sounds like he ran the song through the Stevie Wonder funk mill.
dan.aquilante@nypost.com