Metro

Kickball roundup: Lobos howling at the top of the leader board

Majesty’s reign as Brooklyn Kickball top-ranked and only remaining undefeated team has toppled, after it was dethroned by the Lobos and Zeus’s Beard.

The 7-0-1 Majesty suffered its first defeat of the season, 4-2, to the surprising fifth-ranked Lobos, who continue to make statement wins over the league’s traditional powers.

After falling behind in the first inning due to a fielding error, the Lobos put four runs on the board behind the offensive prowess of Neil “The Giant Down There” Rabinowitz and early MVP favorite Jesse “Grover” Alexander, whose two RBIs in the bottom of the first inning put the Lobos ahead of Majesty for good.

Rabinowitz called his team the “dark horse of the league” filled with “crafty veterans” and identified the play of Pitcher Melinda “Tortilla” Portillo, and outfielders Zirka “Borough President” Markewycz, Marilet “Sera Sera” Que and Kim “Steel Toe” Cauti as key to the Lobos success.

“We’re one of the smartest teams in the league,” said Rabinowitz. “We never beat ourselves. We’re very solid on the field. We won’t roll over you, but when we score a few runs we play the best defense in the league.”

That defense was on full display, when Lobos fried the Bacon Bits 2-1, to finish the weekend with two wins and a jump in the standings over the Recession Aggression and idle Never Scared and Brooklyn United.

League Commissioner and Lobos coach Kevin Dailey praised his opponents, calling the Bacon Bits “a pesky top-tier team” that will be a “force to be reckoned with once playoff time comes.” After noting that Majesty had a soft schedule to open the season, he nevertheless conceded that the team was “legit” and a “team to be contended with,” despite the run it earned on a first inning bunt.

“People like me and the old guard, we don’t have a lot of respect for that cheap bulls—t,” said Dailey. “Our throw went astray to first, I threw to second, and it went off. Then we turned around and we said, ‘All right, let’s do it,’ and we got two runs back.

It wasn’t all right for Majesty, which dropped its second game of the day to the up-and-coming Zeus’s Beard, its seven-game wining streak coming to a precipitous halt just before the All-Star break.

Majesty captain Rochelle “Kitten” Fainstein attributed the two losses to the confluence of unusual phenomena: puppies.

“We were finally able to narrow it down to the fact that both of our opponents had cuter puppies,” said Fainstein. “We won’t let this happen again.”

Other teams to hit a bumpy patch include the Space Cadets, which lost to the Pirates, 4-0, and played a fill-in game against a feisty License to Thunder after The People’s Court was a late scratch.

“We fumbled away a few plays and [the Pirates] took advantage of it, which is what a good team should do,” said Cadets skipper Susan “Ernest and Julio” Gallo.

Pirates captain Lance “El Capitan” Jackson attributed his team’s change of attitude and renewed sense of professionalism for its current win streak. After years of on-the-field antics such as sword fights and water balloon launches, the team has shed its puffy shirts, tri-corner hats and eye-patches for minimalist black T-shirts and shorts that match a no-nonsense defense-minded attitude.

“We’re playing small ball once we realized that we’re not f—ing athletes,” said Jackson. “We’re trying to be more focused this year and we cut down on the shenanigans on account of us having a s—ty record.”

ashort@cnglocal.com