THE good news keeps on coming, America. After conducting an intensive investigation, I am here to report that the male of the species – for too long feminized, intellectualized and metrosexualized into near-extinction – has returned.
You heard it here. Men are the must-have accessory this post-election season. The new black. The old black. They go anywhere and fit with anything. Yes, men are back.
Men. Bulging biceps and clear-cut six packs. The bigger, the brawnier, the better. And if they’ve got something going on between the ears and inside the wallet, that’s cool, too.
So it was yesterday that I trekked to He-Man Central – the auditions for the venerable Chippendales dancers. A collection of fantasy men who take off their clothes for money, but never hang around to whine about their needs, to ask, “Do I look fat?” or expect busy women to stick around all night and cuddle.
They come in all shapes, hairstyles and skin colors, but just one size: Extra large.
The Chippendales dancers have been around since the ’80s, but this troupe of nearly naked guys fond of wearing G-strings and shirt cuffs – but little else – is bigger than ever. Would-be Chips gathered in an Eighth Avenue dance studio yesterday to audition for shows in Las Vegas, Foxwoods and Atlantic City, plus for touring companies that send these American-issue studs all over the country and around the world.
And they’re nice guys, too, if you care about that sort of thing.
There was Steve Stanulis, 31, from Staten Island, a retired city cop who, after suffering a leg injury, is now making a second career stripping off all those bulky and unnecessary outer garments. He met his former wife while stripping at an Italian-American fund- raiser, after peeling his ex- mother- in-law off his G-string.
Steve practiced a routine with the troupe’s di rector and chore ographer, Brian Thomas, who demon strated how to bump, grind and hump the floor.
Another Chip candidate, Sean Richmond, 23, doffed his T-shirt and danced. OK, you look swell. But how strong are you really? I wanted to know.
Sean proceeded to lift me to his shoulder with one arm, without breaking a sweat.
Men. My favorite.