PHOENIX – So you thought I was kidding, right? Well, it happened. It’s real. And here are XLII reasons why:
I: And never forget it: Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat.
II: Eli Manning’s escape from a Patriots sandwich, Part 1 of The Greatest Play In Super Bowl History.
III: David Tyree’s catch, which made it TGPISBH.
IV: Rodney Harrison, who would tackle his grandmother out of bounds for a laugh, being unable to jar the ball loose and clinching TGPISBH.
V: Plaxico Burress, on maybe half a good leg, all alone in the end zone.
VI: Bill Belichick, one of the all-time sore losers, walking off the field with one second to go, refusing to watch the final snap, sealing the Karmic Gods’ belief that no one man ever deserved to lose a Super Bowl more. May his hoodie never darken the door of a Super Bowl ever again after that low-rent stunt.
VII: Belichick making the absurd decision to go for it on fourth-and-13, up 7-3, rather than attempt a 49-yard field goal at the end of an eight-minute, third quarter drive.
VIII: Belichick, genius, outcoached in every facet by Tom Coughlin.
IX: Tom Brady, legendary quarterback, schooled by Eli Manning.
X: The Patriots, down three with 29 seconds to go with three timeouts, playing that final possession like panicked Pop Warner players, calling for three bombs.
XI: Kevin Boss’ catch-and-run. Jeremy Who?
XII: Justin Tuck, who would’ve been MVP if his name were Justin Manning.
XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII: The Giants’ O-line, which kept Eli safe from harm, and significantly outperformed its overrated counterparts on the Pats’ O-line.
XVIII: Tyree: four catches in the season’s first 19 games, three Sunday.
XXIX, XX, XXI, XXII: The FOUR different times the Pats could have ended the game-winning drive with either an interception or a fumble, the ball slipping through their hands – or not escaping Eli’s hands – every time.
XXIII: Steve Smith, Eli’s future favorite target.
XXIV: Michael Strahan, flying like he was 25 again.
XXV: John Mara, in such a hurry to race downstairs and celebrate that he – oops – left his mother, Ann, in the owner’s suite. “I’ll hear about that forever,” he said.
XXVI: Brady hitting Randy Moss in stride in those last desperate moments after the ball traveled 75 yards in the air. Brady truly is a marvel, even when he throws an incompletion.
XXVII, XXVIII: Steve Spagnuolo and Kevin Gilbride, Coughlin’s sergeants-at-arms, turning in the workdays of their lives.
XXIX: Peyton Manning, who couldn’t have looked prouder or happier.
XXX: Archie Manning, who took a beating for years in the NFL, who served hard time toiling for the Aints and now … now this.
XXXI: Olivia Manning, who had the audacity (as only a mother can) to have said, this time last year, “Maybe next year can be Eli’s turn.”
XXXII: Losing hurts less when you have Gisele consoling you.
XXXIII: The “27” that will be etched on Tedy Bruschi’s forehead after Brandon Jacobs ran him over in the second quarter.
XXXIV: Long live the ’72 Dolphins.
XXXV: That FOX shot of Shockey in his suite, with a few spent 12-ounce soldiers lined up in front of him.
XXXVI: Zak DeOssie making one of the game’s great overlooked plays, snuffing Laurence Maroney on the game’s final kickoff and preventing the Pats from getting field position.
XXXVII: The defense knocking the goat horns off Chase Blackburn’s head, holding the Pats and preventing that too-many-men penalty from being a killer.
XXXVIII: Ernie Accorsi taking in that Auburn-Ole Miss game years ago and convincing himself he’d just found the future.
XXXIX: Giants security, foiling the Pats’ inevitable attempts to videotape, monitor, bug, or otherwise infiltrate.
XL: Bob Papa, who deserved to get this Call of a Lifetime.
XLI: Tom Petty, still fighting the good rock-and-roll fight.
XLII: *.