Tis the night before Christmas – and you know what that means. Time to unveil who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.
NAUGHTY
Naomi Campbell: In recent months, she has been accused of whacking her former maid in the head with a cellphone and attacking her drug counselor – leaving scratches all over the poor lady’s face. The maniacal mannequin was also slapped with a lawsuit for beating a former personal assistant with a BlackBerry. Meouch!
Lance Armstrong: After he ticked off France by winning the Tour de France a record seven times, it seems all the superhuman cyclist wanted to do was have fun. A lot of fun – even if it meant a break-up with Sheryl Crow followed by an endless (and shirtless) bachelor party with fellow Texan Matthew McConaughey and a bevy of pneumatic babes.
“Sopranos” Thugs: John Ventimiglia, who plays Tony Soprano’s chef pal Artie Bucco on the hit series, was busted last spring on DWI and coke-possession charges. That same week, Lou Gross, who plays Tony’s bodyguard, was tossed in the can for allegedly breaking down the door of his exgoumada. Vincent Pastore, who played “Big Pussy,” meanwhile pleaded guilty to punching his ex. Not so wise, guys!
Bimbo Summiteers: Britney Spears and new playmates Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan first took the club scene by storm last month. Since then, they’ve been smoking, boozing and Godknowswhat-else-ing like it’s going out of style. That while Brit’s two babies sit home without Mommy. The shame!
Anthony Marshall: How dare this scoundrel skim funds from the city’s patron saint of philanthropy, his mother, Brooke Astor – to say nothing of skimping on her care.
Isiah Thomas: The jury’s still out on whether the Knicks coach sexually harassed the team’s former marketing veep Anucha Browne Sanders, or whether he triggered that ugly rumble with the Nuggets. But that won’t stop us from dunking a lump of coal in his stocking for besmirching the image of our beloved Big Apple franchise.
TomKat: Baby Suri’s parents now seem to be trying to convert Jennifer Lopez and hubby Marc Anthony. Stop the proselytizing, Tom, J.Lo’s been through enough!
Borat: The adored man who single-handedly brought Kazakhstan to its knees (where it had previously been flat on its back), British funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen is our hero.
NICE
Whitney Houston: Our favorite Grammy-winning diva finally wised up and dumped her loser husband, Bobby “The Sponge” Brown, while getting clean and sober. An album of allnew material is due out early next year.
Warren Buffett: There’s nice, and then there’s the Oracle of Omaha, who gave $31 billion of his $44 billion investment portfolio to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
Courteney Cox:Throughout the many ups and downs of Jennifer “Woe is Me” Aniston’s doomed relationships, it’s been Courteney who was there to hold her perpetually mopey “Friend” together. Better her than us!
Angelina Jolie: You’d think that being part of the world’s most famous love triangle, and giving birth to the world’s most beautiful baby – Brad Pitt’s, no less – would make it impossible for Jolie to shake the naughty label. But the maternal chic and happiness she exudes has converted her into our No. 1 good girl.
Ellen Barkin: If anyone deserves an honorary Oscar – for Best Revenge – it’s this native New Yorker. Ellen capped off her nasty split with mogul Ron Perelman by auctioning off more than 100 jewels he had lavished on her during their happier days, earning $20.3 million in the process. Nice job!
Sarah Jessica Parker: Historians may recall that this lovely lady once starred in a popular TV series about sex and our fair city. In recent months, however, she’s given us all a lesson in taking a break from overexposure – for which we give her an “A+.”
Jennifer Hudson: She sang her way out of a Chicago ghetto and into the hearts of millions of “American Idol” fans two years ago. Now she’s immersed in Oscar buzz for her show-stopping turn in “Dreamgirls.” Nice showing from an even nicer newbie superstar.
Bono: His Red campaign gives politically active celebs a good name. He’s actually doing something.