IF it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it might be a straight guy. From the sleekly coiffed power players on “Mad Men” to socialite-seducing lothario fashion designers, baseball player-branded perfume and hockey players interning at Vogue, it’s getting harder to tell, on first impressions, whether a man would rather make out with you — or your brother.
Is he handsome? Check.
Well-groomed? Sure.
Wants to have an actual conversation with you, makes eye contact and doesn’t look at your boobs, not even once? Um.
Facebook pictures show him air-kissing his guy friends? Gay.
Hey, not so fast, sister.
If your gaydar’s been acting up lately or seems to be in need of a tweak, you’re not alone.
“Gay men are butcher than they used to be, and straight men aren’t as inclined to butch it up as much,” says Ross von Metzke, editor of Advocate.com.
Now, nearly 10 years after the dawn of the metrosexual — when straight men first dipped their toes in the proverbial waters of prettiness — creative hairdos, fashion fever and meticulous preening are no longer the sole provenance of the gay.
“Some girls see guys dressed in Thom Browne or some sort of amazing suit, and they’re like, ‘Wow, what’s that dude’s deal? Is he gay?'” says fashion publicist and (straight) man about town Steven Rojas, who’s slim, has tons of girlfriends, favors bow ties and whose Facebook status regularly professes love for his mother.
“Who knows?” says Rojas. “Maybe being gay is better, or seeming gay at the beginning is.”
In today’s post-metro social consciousness, boys will still be boys — just more sensitive and stuff. A generation raised on therapy, teen flicks, reality TV and emoticons (it’s hard to be butch and Twitter at the same time, you know?) has embraced the freedom of sexual ambiguity.
“At some point it all met in the middle,” von Metzke says.
And as homosexuality has become more visible in mainstream media — remember back in the day when Ellen’s on-screen kiss was a big deal? — gender lines are blurrier than ever.
“I think [straight] guys are genuinely interested in hanging out with gay people,” von Metzke says. “As society evolves, people are much less inclined to be weird about it.”
Less weird is great, but this man-on-man convergence has made our conventional gaydar obsolete. Have you ever tried asking a guy if he’s straight? I have. It’s awkward.
RIP, gaydar, we’ll miss how you kept us from winking at the other team.
“I don’t necessarily think that gaydar is dead,” von Metzke says. “I think that it’s becoming a strange sort of middle ground that’s hard to determine.
“That’s probably a good thing — it probably makes going out there and getting a date more frustrating, but, in terms of social acceptance, it’s probably a good thing.”
Time to fine-tune the ‘dar, then. And, um, stop hitting on guys who hang out at Splash.