(Heidi Gutman/Bravo)
It’s a case of crossed legs and folded hands in the dating pool as young ladies await their interview with Patti Stanger.
Watch out, New Yorkers, Patti Stanger is coming to make matches out of you.
In season four of Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker,” Stanger and her dating professionals take their show on the road, looking to help New York’s richest find love.
In the show’s first three seasons, producers followed Stanger and her millionaire clients around Los Angeles, where Stanger and her global agency, Millionaire’s Club (millionairesclub123.com) match moneyed men with beautiful women. Stanger requires clients to adhere to strict rules — no sex until couples agree to be monogamous, for example — although many of them require several go-rounds before they get it through their thick heads.
The biggest challenge in the Manhattan dating scene, according to Stanger, is the ratio: five single women to every single man on the urban island. That makes things tough. In fact, there are so many well-heeled New York women that season four focuses more on the city’s wealthy women than its men.
Successful women with money pose different problems. The show’s first three seasons featured many man-children who had made it financially but failed socially. Stanger’s job was mainly to beat these men into submission until they finally understood that their consistently asinine behavior was keeping them from finding the woman of their dreams.
For example, last season one of Stanger’s LA clients, Justin, brought a back-up date, Kate, on his date with Jennifer, the woman with whom Stanger initially set him up. He didn’t inform either woman that of his plan, but he gave them both gifts of jewelry and took them to a nice restaurant, so he didn’t see a problem with the scenario — even when Jennifer complained loudly about the odd situation throughout the entire evening. The date ended up being an awkward threesome, and afterward, Stanger got an earful from both women.
Not surprisingly, Justin was kicked off Stanger’s list. “He’s a 16-year-old in a 42-year-old’s body,” Stanger says. “Two words to describe Justin: adolescent idiot.”
In general, Los Angeles is a difficult dating environment, she says. “I always make a joke about this. When you go on a third date anywhere in the country, it’s pizza and a movie. In LA, it’s pizza and a movie and therapy. The men there are like women. They are in these hot bodies and all they want to do is talk about their fitness regimes and their feelings.”
In New York, on the other hand, Stanger has to control women who are used to controlling everything. “I said to every millionairess, ‘Do not plan your own date.’ And every single one of them went ahead and planned her own dates.
“They also are all city snobs. They would say, ‘I only date men in the city,’ and then they would give me districts. For example, they would say, ‘I am in the meat-packing district and I don’t go to the Upper West Side.’ These women are snobs, and they are bitter that they are not getting laid and not getting dates.”
Says Stanger, “In New York, it’s all about what you’ve accomplished. New York is Woody Allen; Los Angeles is Paris Hilton.”
Season four also features some semi-famous New Yorkers, including publisher Judith Regan, and Freddie Mitchell, the Philadelphia Eagles’ former wide receiver. There’s also Stacey, who, Stanger says, is “our first Plumpty-Dumpty, or heavy girl, as I like to call her.
“She’s not really nice. She wants a hot Matthew McConaughey and she is like three Jessica Simpsons. Big beautiful girls are going to hate me after they see me work with her,” Stanger says.
Stanger herself is going through some transitions in season four. She’s broken up with her fiancée, Andy, whom she dated for six years. She’s lost 25 pounds by shaking Sensa (trysensa.com) appetite suppressant powder on her food, and she’s now a spokesperson for the weight-loss company.
“Lose the weight, get a date,” she says. “I’m 49 and I’m competing with 25-year-olds, so I have to be skinny.
“If I’m single next season, they will make me date on camera, so I really have to find someone,” Stanger says, with a laugh. “Dating is definitely hard. I’m in the trenches like the rest of you girls.”
But even though the Millionaire Matchmaker has yet to find lasting love, she still has hope.
“I’m ready for the next guy. I’m falling madly in love in 2011,” she says. “I feel like there’s a new man coming in and I’m ready.”
Dating tips for New Yorkers
For men:
1) Do not tell your date about your exes, how many women you are currently dating, or that you have dated every woman from 71st to 81st street.”
2) When you want to ask a woman out, do not say, ‘Hey, when you get to town, call me.’ Make a plan with her.
3) Make a reservation, especially if you are going out on Saturday night.
4) If you like a woman, don’t wait four days to call her. You may think you are being really cool, but you are actually being stupid.
5) If you want to ask a woman out, do not text her. I know grown men who are texting me instead of calling me. Women fall in love between their ears, not their eyes. Texting is adolescent behavior.
For women:
1) When a man calls you, only stay on the phone for 15 minutes and then break the call. Do it gracefully, but do it. Say, “I’d love to get together, but I’m off to the gym or a business meeting.” If he can’t make a plan on the first call, you certainly aren’t going to get him to the altar.
2) Your job is to smile, smell good, relax and enjoy the date. Don’t go on the date and say “He’s not my husband,” and then stop enjoying the date. You don’t know who’s going to end up being your husband. You are not psychic.
3) At the end of the date, say something nice like, “Thank you. I’ve always wanted to try that restaurant.” When he goes home, he’ll process what he liked about you. If his internal reaction doesn’t register that you said please and thank you, he will remember that.
4) Do not call him, text him or e-mail him to say thank you. If you like him, give him a hug at the end of the date and then let that rubberband stretch. Do not interrupt his processing time. He’s pitting you against the competition, but you have to let that play out.
5) Date as many men as you can during the course of the week. Always have a pair and a spare, as they say. Get busy. Guys have hobbies. You should have them too.