Opinion

Angry NYC servers let Post columnist have it following restaurant complaints

Flannery Houston

Flannery Houston (Anne Wermiel/NY Post)

The knives — and forks — are out.

Last week, in an essay titled “You got served!” Post columnist Kyle Smith complained about the “hostage drama” that is dining out in New York City. Waiters put on their chirpiest face, interrupt you every five minutes and squat down to tell you the specials — while customers pretend they’re enjoying themselves lest they suffer bad service or spoiled food.

Kyle praised the French system, where waiters take your order professionally but blandly, then wait to be called over with any problems. He is tired of actor “twerps” who turn eating out into a performance. His prescription — and perhaps the most controversial line of the piece — “you’re a servant. So serve.”

Some commiserated. Thousands liked the piece on Facebook.

Many others were livid. Beyond countless online hand grenades, The Post has received more than 250 letters to the editor, mainly from waiters and waitresses.

Here, we let the servers have their say. Edited for length, here are what some of those behind the menu say Kyle got wrong.

Different tables, different needs

For every table that wants me to chill the hell out and let them eat in peace, there are three more tables of people with small children and dietary restrictions and weird, quirky, picky issues and old curmudgeons who have realized one tiny error in their meal immediately. I have to check in to make sure s – – – doesn’t hit the fan, and the restaurant doesn’t have to end up giving away free food.

Enjoy France, Kyle. Suck my baguette.

Carly Augenstein

I THINK WE AGREE: FRANCE IS BETTER

And better looking, too

The Kardashians would provide a more insightful column than this wannabe hipster cool metro doofus.

Mark Walker

What’s wrong with being nice?

“If I go to a pharmacy, I want to be treated with kindness. If I go to the grocery store, I would like to be rung up with a smile and a pleasant mood. No matter if its a guy changing the oil in my car or the mailman on his normal route, I want to see someone with a smile on their face and a pleasant demeanor to be around. If I go somewhere or encounter a bad mood, it effects me. Quite frankly, you don’t deserve to eat the finer culinary inspired cuisines of your surrounding establishments, and you probably don’t need a second drink.”

David Gruenloh, certified sommelier

What Americans want

Don’t be rude because I’m smiling at you. I’ll be condemned by my manager if I don’t. Just because you’re irritated doesn’t mean you need to make our job any harder. Like most workplaces, we too have bosses breathing down our necks. And they’re telling us to do what our costumers apparently want. Which is to feel at home. How do I make an American feel at home? Well, I have to relentlessly smile like a deranged psychopath.

Alyssa Taylor

Serving is a chance to get ahead

My name is Lee Ann and I am a 22-year-old recent college graduate. My parents are Irish immigrants who moved to this country in 1985, because work was scarce in Ireland. Despite the fact that their high school education had held them to higher standards than many American community colleges, they both took jobs in the service industry to build a new life. My mother went on to eventually work for a public relations company; while my dad became part owner of a bar and restaurant in Astoria, Queens. They worked long days to send my sister and I to Catholic school for our entire early education.

My parents love this country more than anyone else I know and always told me that what made someone American was not their place of birth but their drive to work hard for their family, community and country. This country was their saving grace and the service industry made that possible.

I think you can see where I am going with this because this is not only my story; this is the story of millions of Americans. Americans who at times feel beaten down and belittled from a long day’s work but they don’t give up; they continue to make advancements. Aspiring actors and singers, college students, immigrants, single moms, and the list could go on. They are the Americans fighting the good fight to live out the American dream; they are not in any way, as Mr. Smith refers to them, “servants.”

Lee Ann Cremin

Another solution

Why don’t you take that $150, go buy groceries, make your own damn food and stay the f – – – home.

Sunny A.

Giving diners an experience

A chef, who has since to go on to become a finalist in “Chopped,” once told me, “I don’t care what anyone says, when people leave their homes to eat they want an experience. Give them that experience.

All of these mannerisms that you mentioned as annoying (squatting, small talk, first name basis) are actually all psychological techniques designed to make a connection between two humans to enhance the experience of the patron. Granted, based on how Kyle treats others, maybe he does not consider himself human.

Patrick Damon

Fate worse than death

I condemn thee to a month of serving food at Applebee’s, thou stupid one!

Jan Tessier

No one’s coming to rescue you

The hostages dining in the Canadian embassy in “Argo” had less complaints.

Marcos Ochoa

We’re not France

A decent third of your article attempts to make a comparison between French service and American service. Let me break it down for you. In France and other foreign countries, restaurants hire waiters who they employ for a fixed salary in accordance to the wage laws of the region. Tipping is an alien and unnecessary concept there.

In America, restaurants are not required by law to pay their waiters the minimum wage, as the money they make is (presumably) made up for in tips. Do you understand? I get paid $2.25 by my restaurant. My actual income is almost entirely derived from my tips. As a waiter in New York City, if I give you good service, I expect a gratuity of 18-20% of the total bill. If you feel like giving me 11% just because you thought I was too cheerful, THEN YOU ARE ROBBING ME OF MY TIME AND MONEY. If you don’t think you can afford gratuity on top of the check for good service, then you can’t afford to go out to eat.

Mr. Smith, I don’t deserve having to deal with you in my restaurant. But one day, I might have to. And if I do, I won’t even think of spitting in your food or throwing it on the floor before serving it to you (the “girl you knew” who did that is clearly a sociopath and should be arrested for reckless endangerment). Do you know why I won’t do any of that? Because I’m a good person. You, sir, are clearly not.

Go back to France. New York doesn’t want you.

Kennedy Kanagawa

The social contract

The fact is, when you enter a restaurant, or a store, or any place of business that involves human interaction, you are engaging in a social contract between the workers at that business and yourself. And that contract requires that you listen, be receptive, have a sense of humor and realistic expectation, and don’t be a dick.

Dylan Riley-MacArthur

And finally . . .

Also, nobody says twerp anymore.

David Hostetter

Standards servers must meet

I have been a server in NYC since January of 2007. The first restaurant that I had the privilege of working for was probably about as corporate as they come and sometimes as a server it was overwhelming, but as a guest it had such high standards in place that people always wanted to come back.

Service standards for major corporate Times Square dining experience:

* The customers are “guests” not patrons, clientele or customers. we call them guests because we are providing a dining experience, not completing a business deal.

* If a guest is within five feet of you or eye-contact distance you smile and say hello.

* As soon as a guest sits at your table you greet them within 60 seconds.

* Your greet lasts approximately 60 seconds.

* Your greet includes the following in this order: You say hello, you say your name, you ask them if they’ve been there before. You show them the drink menu then you recommend one alcoholic and one non-alcholic, you recommend an appetizer, an entree and a dessert, then you leave the table with a drink order and hopefully an appetizer order.

* The drinks hit the table within 2-4 minutes.

* The appetizers hit the table within 8-10.

We then are required to follow a “2 bite or 2 minute” rule. This means that we check on the guest after two minutes of receiving their food or them taking two bites of it.

We also are required to be friendly, helpful and knowledgeable about not only the restaurant but the surrounding area of the city.

* The guest is always right, even though we all know that people like Kyle Smith are not always right and occasionally complain simply because they are masochistic imbeciles.

In regards to the standard of service to which we are expected to provide, it may seem a little annoying but it’s what we as servers are required to follow. If we are caught slacking in these standards in any way, we are written up, and three write-ups means you’re fired.

So the next time he thinks a server is being annoying, he should be grateful that his water is glass is full and someone cared enough to ask him more than once if he needed something.

Shanna Riker

So what if we’re actors, too?

It is also really disappointing that you think everyone who works in the service industry is chasing a dream they are not talented enough to actually catch. I know servers who have been on Broadway, who have been on TV shows, who have been in commercials. I know dancers who are in dance companies and perform all the time but don’t make enough money to pay their utility bills, let alone rent. I know genius writers and brilliant artists.

These are the people that make up the restaurant industry. These are the people you have tossed aside as worthless servants you would rather not have contact with. Guess what? In this country, the land of freedom and opportunity, you have the right to not have contact with these people, just as they have a right to earn a decent living, not bending over backwards to serve you and only receive an 11% tip.

Thank you for your time. My name is Flannery Houston, and I am a server at a restaurant in NYC. I am a modern dancer, working for three choreographers. I own a jewelry design company. I am applying to grad schools for political science. I will be paying for school by waiting tables.

Flannery Houston