If you’re a woman who lives in a white-glove building, you’ve thought about sleeping with your doorman. Apparently, it’s impossible to avoid this fantasy, at least according Lena Dunham, who recently featured it as a plot point in “Girls.”
But is it only a fantasy? Or are there women in your building sleeping with the hot man manning the door right now?
The latter.
A Midtown doorman we’ll call George, 27, confirms that tenant-doorman romances are definitely an option. “It can happen if you want it to,” he says. “No one tells you you’re not allowed to date tenants.”
The appeal is clear to one New York artist: “They’re handsome, protective figures — who you also are in charge of.”
But sometimes the doorman’s appeal has nothing to do with the fact that they tend to be young and good-looking. It’s not even that women love men in uniform. It’s simply because they’re there.
That was a large part of the appeal for an East Village writer we’ll call Megan, 35. She began a romance with her doorman after he saw her crying over a breakup. She says his professional skills transitioned from the lobby to the bedroom.
“I’ve never been with such an unselfish person in bed,” Megan says. “It was as though his need to make everyone happy was just an inherent part of his personality.”
And, wow, was it convenient.
“Sometimes I’d text him stuff like ‘Do you have a minute to insert a light bulb?’ ” she says. “He’d be in my apartment in less than three minutes.” It’s easy to have a booty call when the commute only requires an elevator ride.
Though, convenient as it is, it can present problems in the long run. Julia Levy, a 29-year-old writer from Murray Hill, claimed that complications arose when her friend’s roommate began dating the doorman (after seducing him by baking him cookies).
“The romance fizzled,” Levy says, “The roommate eventually went for her personal trainer instead.” Afterward, the roommate moved out, a decision that might have been caused by the romance.
Things tend to get more complicated — and sometimes scary — if the doorman is the one pursuing a tenant. Julie Lin, a 33-year-old blogger from Chelsea claims that one doorman got her phone number from the building directory and began texting her.
“I knew this was not cool,” says Lin. “One day, he even came and knocked on my door and said, “I just want to say good night.” You realize he’s downstairs and he has a master key.”
Doormen — do not stalk women in your building. If they want you, they’ll ring you, not the other way around.
Unfortunately, even in cases where the romance is entirely consensual, the repercussions for the doormen can be devastating. While George correctly notes that many buildings don’t have an official policy against fraternization, that doesn’t mean a spurned lover won’t try to get a doorman fired.
Attorney Aaron Shmulewitz, head of the co-op and condo practice at Belkin Burden Wenig & Goldman LLP, says he’s encountered many cases dealing with doorman-tenant relationships. “It usually plays out that the romance fizzles,” he says. “What had been an attraction becomes a repulsion. Invariably, the doorman gets fired.”
Well, not always. Megan and her former flame, at least, are still friendly. After the end of their romance, she says, “He went back to his work, and I went back to mine.” Still, we bet he still responds really quickly if she ever needs a light bulb changed.