Hondo had a meeting with the man in the mirror this week following his latest disaster – 6-8 overall, 0-3 Best Bets – and they agreed to a trial separation until the embarrassment ends, which might not be for some time.
Bills over Jets: Hondo is confused, as is often the case. The Jets, whose season has followed a seemingly predetermined progression of win followed by a loss followed by a win, etc., won their last game, so they should be due for a loss. However, they had a bye last week so does that mean they are due for a win this week or does the loss carry forward? Hopefully, the latter.
Santonio Holmes is due back Sunday, so once again it’s Tone Time, which means it’s time for Tone to renew making his selfish complaints about not getting enough passes thrown his way.
Giants over Packers: Another gift for the Giants. This week the bell tolls for Tolzien, the Packers’ third-string QB. The only way the Giants will lose here is if they get caught licking their chops at the prospect of Week 12’s meeting with Dallas and the world’s oldest defense coordinator, Monte Kiffin.
According to BarkingMut of SoBe, Prince Amukamura and Tim Tebow are planning a buddy vacation during the offseason in the Virgin Islands.
Buccaneers over Falcons: Mike Smith received a vote of confidence from Falcons GM Thomas Dimitroff after the Falcons fell to 2-7 Sunday, which means Smith better watch out. Usually the VOC is just a thinly veiled KOD (kiss of death).
Lions over Steelers: Obama gets minimal credit for finally apologizing for lying about his health care plan. To get full tribute, he would have to make 33 more mea culpas to match the number of times he told everyone: “If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan. Period.”
Also, the President only apologized about the lie, not the lie about the lie. He owes everyone another one for: “What we said was you could keep it if it hasn’t changed since the law was passed.”
Eagles over Redskins: Bill Clinton has recommended the health care law be changed to honor Obama’s original promise. If there’s one thing Bill can’t stomach, it’s a lying politician.
Bears over Ravens: Emailer James Hommel has come up with a title for Bill de Blasio’s term as mayor of New York City: “Moscow on the Hudson.”
Sources say Red Billy was so happy about winning the election he treated everyone in his family to brand new Castro Convertibles.
Browns over Bengals: Vladimir Putin was awarded a ninth degree black belt in Taekwondo by the head of the world federation in South Korea. Apparently, the federation was impressed by the way he effortlessly took down Obama on the Syrian chemical weapons issue.
Raiders over Texans: Word is De Blasio is trying to reach Putin to congratulate him.
Jaguars over Cardinals: The rubber duck and Chess have been named to the Toy Hall of Fame. Please, given that most youngsters are done playing with the duck by about age 2, how can anybody remember if it’s even fun? And Chess is like checkers on steroids; you don’t want that contaminating the Toy Hall.
Mr. Aitch would have voted for Nok Hockey and hall ball — the hoop rim that attaches to the top of a door — both so much more fun and worthy than the rubber duck.
Chargers over Dolphins: Richie Incognito reportedly has filed a grievance with the league in an effort to protect money in the event the Fish unjustly extend his suspension. Clearly he’s concerned this could be another case of The Man may trying to keep the honorary black man down.
Fish owner Stephen Ross has appointed a task force to advise him on how to change the locker-room culture. Here’s a couple to get the ball rolling: 1) No more honorary brothers with special dispensation to use the “N” word; 2) Try not to put players who allegedly molest women at golf outings on the “leadership council.”
Seahawks over Vikings: Angry Alec Baldwin claimed on the witness stand he never had sex with his alleged stalker, Genevieve Sabourin, that he only met with her as a favor to Martin Bregman, producer of “Scarface,” to offer career advice. Sabourin responded by yelling out: “You have a scar right here” as she pointed to her hip, which, if nothing else, could put Alec in line to play the lead in a sequel to Bregman’s famous flick, which would be called “Scarhip.”
49ers over Saints: If Alec truly offered any advice, it probably was to stay off the casting couch; the bed is much roomier.
Chiefs over Broncos: Another woof from BarkingMut: Wideout Dwayne Bowe, who was arrested for speeding and marijuana possession, explains that the grass was part of his preparation for playing at Mile High in pot-legal Colorado Sunday.
Panthers over Patriots: Miley Cyrus allegedly fired up a joint on stage at the MTV Europe Music Awards and also twerked with a dwarf. Let’s hope that doesn’t give Toronto mayor Rob Ford any ideas.
Siciliano, aka the Bronx Bomber, writes if players win a title in the U.S., they are honored with a visit with the President at the White House. If they win in Toronto, they are honored with a visit with Rob Ford at the crack house.
Ford comes off as a tough guy in his latest rant, yelling and threatening lawsuits, but Hondo’s guessing the big blowhard is what he eats.
BEST BETS: Colts, Giants, Chiefs.
THURSDAY NIGHT: Colts.