NBA veteran Jason Collins marches in Boston’s gay pride parade alongside U.S. Rep. Joe Kennedy III. (AP)
Not everyone is hailing Jason Collins for the way he has handled the past few months.
Former fiance Carolyn Moos is frustrated with the NBA veteran for keeping her in the dark when he called off their engagement in 2009 and since a Sports Illustrated article came out in April in which he came the first active athlete to come out as gay in the major sports.
“A month before I was set to marry the man I loved, he called off the wedding. I had no idea why,” Moos said in the August issue of Cosmopolitan.
“He and I had been together for eight years. We had planned to have children, build a family. Nearly four years later, I got my answer. My former fiancé, Jason Collins, a pro basketball player with the Washington Wizards, announced last spring in Sports Illustrated that he is gay. Jason told me he’s gay over the phone on a Monday morning in April, the same day the magazine hit newsstands. However, he didn’t mention the article – that came as a surprise when I heard about it from a friend.”
Collins and Moos met at Stanford where they both played basketball, but it wasn’t until they graduated with Moos on business in Dallas and Collins who was with the Nets, in town playing the Mavericks in 2001, that they met up and began a long distance relationship. Collins then bounced around from one NBA team to another, which is why Collins waited so long to propose, or so she thought.
In July 2009, upon coming back from a road trip with his brother, Collins went to the home he lived at with Moos and told her, “You may want to sit down,” before adding “I’m just not sure,” and cancelling the wedding.
Collins has been hailed as a hero by many, and his status and Twitter following have skyrocketed. After admitting he was gay, there were many interviews and TV shows he appeared on, but Collins still hasn’t talked to Moos since that first call and Sports Illustrated article came out three months ago.
“The phone call this April ended the mystery. He left a message on a Sunday, saying, ‘I have something important to talk about—please call me back.’ I was working and called the next morning. He uttered an eerily familiar phrase: ‘You may want to sit down.’ Then he said, ‘Carolyn, I’m gay.’ I was stunned. I managed to say, after a silent moment and then a deep breath, ‘I had no idea. I’m sure a huge weight is off your shoulders.’ During all the years I had known him, I never would have guessed that he would come out as gay,” Moos said.
“We talked again briefly that night. He answered a few questions, but there was much left to discuss and he said he had to go.”
She expressed more disappointment than anger at the way Collins handled the situation.
“I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like there are two Jason’s now—the man I fell in love with and the man I’m trying so hard to understand. He’s being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love.”
Having known Collins for so long, Moos doesn’t like that he has spent more time with the media than clearing the air with her.
“I empathize with Jason and support him. But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him,” Moos told the magazine.
“As I tell this story, it has been several weeks since he told me his news and he has made no further time to talk, despite saying he would do so. I am sad that the media seems to be a higher priority. I hope this changes in the coming weeks, as I value open dialogue more than anything.”
Moos admitted she has no idea what Collins is going through but was still disappointed in her ex-fiance.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through all the stages he has gone through, all the deep layers. I don’t know what it’s like to wear a mask for 34 years,” she said. “It’s sad that society puts that kind of pressure on a person. I also understand the macho stereotypes men face in the NBA.”