New York may be the city that never sleeps, but that’s because it’s the city that naps.
We do this on the train. Subway shuteye could be the secret to our success, because it not only recharges our batteries, it gets us to explore this great city.
While Mayor de Blasio and Police Commissioner Bill Bratton have ordered cops to wake us from these snoozettes, lest we be robbed — which is sort of like telling us we can’t walk through the park, lest we be mugged — what the brass doesn’t seem to realize is that naps are golden.
“If you don’t sleep, it’s associated with a lot of negative health outcomes,” says Hunter College associate professor of anthropology Herman Pontzer, who has studied sleep patterns in hunter-gatherer populations. (And aren’t we all hunter-gatherers, in New York — hunting for a better life, gathering what crumbs we can?)
“Your body actually goes into repair mode during sleep. If you’re in sleep debt, you should try to rectify that.”
We do. Between stops. While Pontzer isn’t sure that a nap on the train is quite the cleansing sleep we need, “I’m no stranger to the subway sleep routine myself,” he admits.
Welcome to New York: Professor or pole dancer (or both!), we all take the subway, and we all nod off. It’s the great equalizer. It’s also the great energizer. How could we mop our skyscrapers or write our books (or both!) without naps?
We sleep the way we eat — on the run, so we don’t waste time.
“I currently live in Columbus, which doesn’t have a subway, so I get the unfortunate opportunity to sit in rush-hour, bumper-to-bumper traffic,” says Alex Krempasky, a digital content guy. Back when he could indulge in pre-work naps, he felt both more efficient and less annoyed.
At any given time, it looks like about 5 percent of the people on the subway are asleep. I can’t give you a better estimate than that because I’m a 5 percenter.
If you could bottle the E train, I’d buy it and flush the NyQuil down the toilet. Wedge me between a construction worker and a Bible reader, and I’m out quicker than you can say, “Sick passenger on the train ahead of us.”
In addition to making the commute fly, subway napping makes us more cosmopolitan. It takes us new places.
“The only time I have ever been to Coney Island (and I grew up in New York) was because I fell asleep on the subway. Figured it was a sign to check it out,” says comedian Alyson Chadwick.
A student visiting us from Germany woke up as the 6 train was doing its end-of-the-line U-turn through the deserted, magnificent City Hall station. That’s not an experience he would’ve had if he’d stayed awake. And one of my own teenage sons — he’s forbidding me to use his name — got on the R train one night and woke up on the F train. That’s magic! (Or so a mother tells herself. )
On top of all this, subway snoozing gives us stories. Eric Messinger, now the editor of New York Family magazine, had a Midtown night job early in his career and would read on his way home to Brighton Beach.
“Those were long, slow rides in which I read a lot of classics,” he says. “But one time I was reading ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls,’ and I’m nodding off. The train stops and somebody grabs the book out of my hands” — and runs off! Messinger sat there thinking, “Of all the crimes I could be a victim of, passing along great literature is one I’m cool with.”
John McElhinney, now retired, recalls another late-night subway story. Many years ago, his friend’s dad, Harold, won a live turkey in a Thanksgiving raffle. Harold celebrated his good fortune at a local watering hole and hours later began the trek back to Brooklyn.
“By his count, he was awakened by the cops at least three times along the route,” says McIlhinney. “In those days, no one really bothered about the turkey. Too much paperwork.”
When Harold somehow managed to get off at his stop — Windsor Terrace — the turkey was wide awake, too, and made a break for it. “Harold lit out after him and before you knew it, the power was turned off and there were several cops in the tunnel with flashlights, trying to nab the turkey.”
They prevailed and the next day Harold drove to the butcher, with Harold Jr. in the passenger seat, holding onto Tom.
Most likely, none of them got any shuteye, because that’s private transportation for you.
Lenore Skenazy is author of the book “Free-Range Kids,” founder of the blog freerangekids.com and a contributor at Reason.com.