Isn’t Palm Beach County, Fla., overrun with long-in-the-tooth, snooty socialites draped in Lilly Pulitzer, desperately trying to catch just one more polo match before settling in for that eternal dirt nap?
You better believe it!
But — and this might very much be the most important “but” you heed all year — geezers and geezettes aside, there is a fresher, hipper underbelly to the 5-6-1.
Some 250 miles south of where Ponce de Leon was sniffing around in the 16th century, they’ve managed to tap a true fountain of youth: craft beer, concerts, tatted-up victualers, celebuchefs, pop art, eco-minded lagoons and boutique hotels (oofa: the area generates $7.3 billion annually in tourism bucks alone).
With so much drama in the PBC, it’s not that it’s not your grandmother’s Florida anymore — because it still very much is.
It’s just that it’s not hers alone. Here’s a few places to prove it.
DO
Remember that time our cruel, cruel sky gaped open and dumped a record level of cold, white death upon the helpless citizenry below? Palm Beachers sure don’t, as their January average temp hovers around 75 degrees, just to mock us Yanks. The tax for that? You actually have to leave the house and do stuff, come wintertime.
Not a problem: Kayaks and/or stand-up paddleboards await your stewardship at Jupiter Outdoor Center in PBC’s most celestial city. They’ll take you out and around the Jupiter Inlet, Loxahatchee River Aquatic Preserve, Indian River Lagoon and Intracoastal Waterway.
KHAAAAAAAN-tinue the fun over at the city’s Kravis Center for the Performing Arts on Feb. 2, where William Shatner will be doing whatever William Shatner does. Following his act, if that’s even possible, is the Palm Beach Opera presents Don Pasquale, Feb. 19-21. Don’t leave Kravis, just yet: On Feb. 23, the Philadelphia Orchestra will perform Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet: Montagues and Capulets, Sibelius’ Violin Concerto in D minor, Op. 47 and Dvorák’s Symphony No. 8 in G Major, Op. 88.
If you live your life by the mantra “What Would Yanni Do?,” you’re in the right part of Florida. On Feb. 6, the gifted Greek will take over the Perfect Vodka Ampitheatre in front of 19,000 adoring head-bangers, mosh-pitters and lighter-flickers.
Throwback Thursday has nothing on this phenomenal Foolish Beat Friday when, on Feb. 26, Debbie Gibson, Flock of Seagulls, Information Society, Wang Chung, Modern English and Nu Shooz will host “Reunion: The Ultimate 80s Concert” at Boca Raton’s Mizner Park Ampitheater.
Last year’s SunFest — a five-day, 50-band, 175,000-attendeed music orgy in downtown West Palm — featured Fall Out Boy, Lenny Kravitz, Paramore, Hozier, 311 and ScHoolboy Q. This year’s (running April 27-May 1) manifest hasn’t been revealed yet, but should be similarly groovy.
They insist on being called manatees, but to Jim Gaffigan and the rest of the world, they’ll always be “sea cows.” Bask in the creatures’ blubberous glory at the new 16,000-square-foot Manatee Lagoon – An FPL Eco-Discovery Center, which opens next month. The observation deck will have the best seats in the house.
ART
PBC doesn’t need to co-opt some Swiss trade fair to get in touch with its artsy-craftsy side (unlike some people). Hell, it even has itself the world’s first “Cultural Concierge.” Ring up the current office-holder — arts expert and musicologist Bama Lutes Deal, Ph.D. — to sort through the 42,000-plus cultural experiences available county-wide.
What’s going down in February alone?
All you fans of feline haberdashery and chartreuse cackleberry (with a side of gammon) need to hit The Gardens Mall, where the “The Art of Dr. Seuss Collection” exhibition runs through Feb. 14. Enjoy all sorts of creations from the late rhymester: illustrations, sculptures, story hours (Thurdays at 10 a.m.) and weekend performances of “Seussical” from the Maltz Jupiter Theatre.
With your inner ADHD-afflicted child now wide awake, attack the block now through Feb. 14 with “Nature Connects,” a massive outdoor sculptural art exhibition of plant life built with over 500,000 Lego bricks inside West Palm Beach’s Mounts Botanical Garden.
Allegedly the biggest in the country (we’ll take their word), the Annual Palm Beach Jewelry, Art and Antique Show will bling out the Palm Beach County Convention Center Feb. 11–16.
Not thug-life for you? More than 400 taggers will enjoy a couple days’ reprieve, à la “The Purge,” Feb. 20 and 21 when the Annual Street Painting Festival hits Downtown Lake Worth, turning the boho hood’s pavement into an outdoor museum.
And if you want art walks, they’re everywhere you look — show the ones in Northwood Village, Downtown Delray Beach and Boynton Beach some love.
EAT
There’s no greater proof of West Palm Beach’s hipsterfication than by Executive Chef and owner Anthony Theocaropolous’s decision to clone Prospect Heights’ upscale restaurant, Cooklyn, inside 150 Worth Avenue Plaza in Palm Beach. It’s set to open in August.
James Beard Award-nominated chef, Clay Conley, just opened Grato late last year in West Palm Beach. I may be a confirmed Medigon, but I know the name means “grateful” in Italian — an apt fit for fans of its rustic, soulful menu.
The lactose-intolerant are considered infidels at month-old Grilled Cheese Gallery in West Palm’s Historic Northwood District, where they have dozens of takes on the classic sammy, plus poutine, soups, salads and desserts. Art-4-sale, too.
Later this year — fall-ish — SoFla Chef and season nine “Top Chef” finalist Lindsay Autry, partnered with restaurateur Thierry Beaud, will open THE REGIONAL Kitchen & Public House in downtown West Palm Beach’s multipurpose CityPlace.
There’s a near infinity of unique nom-nom options around PBC: Gelato at Bohemia Arthaus; southern-fried bird at Fat Rooster; sexy veggies and year-round goings on at Swank Farm in Loxahatchee; Chef Daniel Boulud’s Café Boulud at The Brazilian Court in Palm Beach has a new lighter design; West Palm’s EmKo puts the art in artisanal cooking; a cup-o-Zen at Yaxche Tearoom in Delray Beach.
But if you still have a few unoccupied cubic centimeters of stomach space left, fill ’em up on the West Palm Beach Food Tour: a three-hour, 1¼-mile walk-by of 12 tastings from local restaurants, hosted by local foodie Kristl Story ($65/pp).
DRINK
You know all of those wacky “Florida Man …” news stories that are so meme-friendly? They may have some connection to PBC’s popular craft beers — many sport quite impressive ABVs.
Boca has Barrel of Monks, Brewzzi and The Funky Buddha; Boynton has Copperpoint, Devour, Due South; Tequesta’s got The Corner Cafe and Tequesta Brewing Co.; Palm Beach Gardens has Twisted Trunk; Delray hosts Saltwater. You shall thirst for nothing.
Better yet, pub crawl downtown West Palm with Cycle Party on a 15-person quadcycle — it’s a great way for your liver to speed date local brews from City Tap House and the like without worry of DUIs.
If you prefer grapes to grain, Wine Scene— just opened last October — is a wine bar and art gallery one block north of City Place in West Palm Beach. It sports 50 wines by the glass, charcuterie boards and tapas.
STAY
Why is it when you park your car on the front lawn in the ‘burbs it’s considered trashy, but roll it up on a golf course and it’s suddenly classy corporate sponsorship? C’est la vie at the PGA National Resort and Spa which, of all of PBC’s 160 golf courses, becomes the county’s most Civic-infested when it hosts the 2016 Honda Classic in February. During that long weekend, the lobby turns into a pop-up discotheque where the whitest white people on the planet attempt dancing and other fun science experiments — polo collars all a-poppin’. The lively resort’s 33,000-square-foot Sports and Racquet Club is fresh off a $4 million facelift (from $289).
In other new hotel news, the 400-room Hilton West Palm Beach (from $349) just opened this month; in May, West Palm Beach will become home to one of eight new Canopy by Hilton Hotels; Boca Raton will have The Palm Beaches’ third Hyatt Place by summer; the new Residence Inn West Palm Beach Downtown/CityPlace Area is The Palm Beaches’ first extended-stay property (from $289); and in 2017, a Mandarin Oriental Hotel is planned to debut in downtown Boca Raton.
The Breakers resort pulled a Russian nesting doll trick by opening a hotel inside a hotel, its new ultra-luxe, 25-room Flagler Club — it also renovated its spa to the tune of $8 million (from $2,100).
And there’s only one word to describe Tony Danza’s cabaret show at The Colony Hotel’s Royal Room, which just debuted: Boss (from $550).