Lifestyle

Here’s what you need to know before you move to a new city

Quite often people who visit a new destination love it so much, they never want to come back home. It’s not uncommon considering the power of travel. People are often inspired to move to a place completely different than their own, and it’s happening more now than ever, whether you’re moving cross country, or across the world. According to the Census Bureau, Americans moved at a high rate between 2013 and 2014. And a report last year indicated there are roughly 50 million expats worldwide, with the number expected to reach an estimated 56.8 million by 2017.

But moving to a new city is never a cakewalk. There are cultural differences, foreign languages, even depression to deal with. And did we mention the stress of moving in general? If you’re in the market for a one-way ticket, here’s how to make your move a success.

Related: These are the best places to be an expat around the world

1. Let down your guard to open up the possibilities

Traveling is known to relieve stress but moving to a different city can take a toll on you mentally. In fact, for many new residents, they’re starting over in an unfamiliar environment, which means they’ll need to build relationships all over again. Marissa Grasmick, a psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, says: “Expect this transition to be uncomfortable. While you are “bridging,” [a.k.a., getting acclimated to your new place] expect to keep in contact with your old network and try not to shame yourself for ‘holding on.’ It’s important to have a secure base as you will be taking risks to form new connections. Practice the courage (which comes from the word ‘cour’ which means whole-hearted) to be vulnerable and take these risks in putting your authentic self out there. Our vulnerability is actually what helps us form bonds and connections.”

Letting down your guard will also help reduce feelings of loneliness, which is common for “fish out of water” situations. “Often when we are in a transitional state, such as moving, we deeply miss the absence of familiar others and can feel a great degree of loneliness. It is important to expect this, normalize it, and attempt to not further the pain by attaching a story to it such as ‘I’m unlovable,’ ‘I’m not fun to around,’ ‘I’m boring,’ etc,” says Grasmick.

2. Be social

Just as important as letting down your guard is going out to explore, being social, and making new friends. Jeremy Jauncey, founder of travel influencer brand Beautiful Destinations, moved from London to New York City this past April and found that not having a network of friends in place was the hardest part. “I am a big believer in putting yourself out there to meet new people and try to be social around the things I enjoy. Joining a gym or social sports team is an easy way to meet people with similar interests as is going to networking events around the industry you are in. I’ve found these to be the most productive ways of adjusting to a new lifestyle and are good ways for you to settle in to a new city,” he says.

Related: 5 ways to survive traveling with your friends

3. Find unique ways to cure “homesickness”

It’s inevitable: movers will miss being home, especially when traveling abroad. Everyone from students studying abroad to CEOs get a wave of homesickness, which can lead to anxiety and depression. “Everyone says that moving to a new country is all about fully immersing yourself in the culture, language, and food,” says Daniel Hernandez Lyon, a marketing exec who moved from New York City to Florence, Italy last year. “But sometimes in the midst of dealing with the challenges of living abroad, you need a little taste of home. Don’t feel guilty for having a day when you create a little expat bubble… watch a movie in English, hang out with expats, and cook American food at home. Sometimes your brain needs a little reset.”

4. Give yourself a full year

With the stress, loneliness and anxiety that comes with moving to a new city, it’s not uncommon for people to prematurely throw in the towel. Realistically, you need to give it time, with a full year being the standard. In some places, you may need to stay longer than a year to determine whether you made the right decision, based on social and environmental factors. “You need at least a year to adjust to a new city, but I think you need more time, like two to three years in big cities like L.A. It’s a huge place!” says Grasmick. Plus, if you’re somewhere like L.A. that has an obstacle, like being a driving city as opposed to a walking city, it’s harder to meet people through chance. You have to go out of your way to find activities that you would enjoy and then schedule a time to go. It requires a bit more effort, therefore a bit more time.

5. Avoid making comparisons to your old city

While everyone is different and can take more or less time making adjustments to a new city, comparing your new city to your old city can slow you down from acclimating. “Try to stay focused on your experience and check-in with yourself about what you need,” says Grasmick. “It’s been said that negative thoughts are like Velcro, and positive thoughts are like Teflon. Knowing that your mind wants to hold onto difficult experiences and positive ones tend to slide right off (it’s an old survival-based habit that we have). Try to be mindful of savoring the good moments and aware that you are probably looping (or overthinking) the bad ones.”