They get to play a kid’s game, get to feel forever young, get to shed blood, sweat and tears with a band of brothers all playing this game they love. Some of them become rich and famous, some of them become Super Bowl champions.
And then one day, often without warning, you are no longer wanted, and you are lost and alone when the cheering stops.
The 2015 Giants open their season Sunday night in Dallas, and undoubtedly the bright lights and the roar of the six-figure crowd and the sight of the star on the other guys’ helmets will keep them completely in the moment, because there are just 16 of these moments, and the stakes and expectations are as high as Odell Beckham Jr. can sky.
But Wednesday there was a giant hole in the heavy heart of the New York Football Giants.
Tragedy has paid unannounced visits to the franchise too often already, first Ann Mara, the ultimate Giant matriarch, then Frank Gifford, the ultimate Giant, and now Tyler Sash, a small-town kid from Iowa who beat the odds and made it as a reserve safety and special teamer, No. 39, and became a Super Bowl XLVI champion.
Whose incomprehensible and sudden death Wednesday at the age of 27, the cause of which is being investigated, was mourned by men who often feel indestructible and are jolted on those rare occasions when they are reminded of their own mortality. Who are blindsided by shock and disbelief at the loss of a beloved fallen gladiator, and friend.
Cancer survivor Mark Herzlich, who knows what it is like to stare death in the face, was a Big Blue babe in the woods not long ago with Spencer Paysinger, Henry Hynoski and Sash. They all lived in Clifton, N.J., lived the NFL dream together, and called themselves The Crew. Herzlich is the lone Giants survivor.
“You kinda just say, ‘I wonder … I wonder why,’ ” Herzlich was saying as he stood at his locker Wednesday, “ ‘and I wonder if there’s anything else I could have done.’ And I don’t think that there’s necessarily anything I could have done but … I wish he had reached out and would have told me what was happening.”
Former Iowa teammates and ex-Giants who knew him took to Twitter to express their sorrow, but 140 characters never seems like enough.
“Some mental instability at the end where he figured that it was easier to just end it, which is … it’s tough,” Herzlich said. “And you never think it’s gonna get to that. … There’s life after football, but it’s not the same. And you realize that with what happened with Tyler.”
At least there are sweet, innocent memories left with Herzlich that make him smile.
“He had a [front] tooth that got knocked out his rookie year, so he was playing without one tooth and he ran down on a punt, he was our fullback, he made a great tackle, and turned around, took his mouthguard out and turned to all of us,” said Herzlich, simulating a big, toothless grin. “He loved acting like a crazy man out there and played like it and reckless. … It was fun for all of us to play with him.”
And never more fun than winning a Super Bowl and celebrating it together. As rookies.
“There’s a famous picture in Sports Illustrated of him running out on the field with his helmet up [in his right hand], and Victor [Cruz] right behind him,” Herzlich said. “Tyler was always … just a great guy to be around. If you were having a party, you wanted Tyler there just ’cause he was always happy, and just like a guy who people flocked to.”
Cloud 9.
“I remember we did not go to bed,” Herzlich said, “and then we were all on the plane the next day and sang the ‘I Got A Ring’ song, and he was right there singing that too so … yeah … we didn’t get much sleep that night.”
Former Giant David Diehl, now a commentator on FOX’s NFL coverage, won his second championship that night.
“I broke down when I heard about it,” Diehl said. “His energy and who he was was infectious. He loved the game of football. I could just sit there and close my eyes and just watch 39 going down flying on kickoffs, and not only celebrating if he did something, but celebrating his teammates’ success too.”
Coach Tom Coughlin mentioned Sash at the start of his press conference.
“I’m very dumbfounded by this, and I’m very sad,” Coughlin said.
Eli Manning: “So young, and feel like he was just here.”
Prince Amukamara: “He was a very, very lovable and likeable person, always put a smile on your face, and I know everyone is missing him and I know his family’s hurting right now.”
Zak DeOssie: “Very sad day.”
Herzlich last saw Sash in March in Des Moines, Iowa, 10 months after Sash had been cited for public intoxication and interference with official acts. Herzlich, there for a speaking engagement, detected no behavior from Sash that would signal chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). It was a concussion that led to Sash’s release on Aug. 31, 2013.
“It stops you in your tracks, and makes you … really wonder if there’s anything that could have been done, to help save him,” Herzlich said. “That’s the hardest part, I think. Because when it happens in your circle, you wish that guy was still in your circle. And you’d do anything to get him back there. So, it was a tragedy — it is a tragedy — and I cannot explain how saddened I am by his loss, and his loss of hope. Because I think that’s probably what had happened.”