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‘No layoffs … this week’: Marissa Mayer’s creepy comment kills morale

You’re not getting fired this week — feel better now?

That was the creepy message Yahoo! boss Marissa Mayer had for employees at a companywide meeting earlier this month, drawing nervous chuckles from workers who fear for their jobs, sources told The Post.

“She said there are going to be no layoffs ‘this week,’ and many of the employees laughed at her,” said one insider, who, fearing retribution, asked not to be named.

“This is the reason employee morale is so low,” the insider added, noting that most workers took the scary remark as twisted confirmation that Yahoo!’s embattled chief executive is sharpening the ax.

Mayer, who returned to her duties at the struggling Internet pioneer just a few weeks after giving birth to twins on Dec. 10, made the less-than-reassuring comment in response to a question at an internal “Friday FYI” meeting on Jan. 8, sources said.

Word of the gaffe has been “spreading like wildfire” through Silicon Valley, another insider said, calling it the latest example of a chronically tone-deaf CEO in a crisis.

Indeed, some in the audience laughed precisely because “she wasn’t trying to be funny,” according to the second source. “She was trying to make us believe it.”

Early last week, just a few days after the meeting, Business Insider reported that Yahoo! is planning to lay off 10 percent of its workforce. The report couldn’t be confirmed, but rumors amid a nervous workforce have since swirled that the number is actually closer to 20 or 25 percent, insiders said.

“We don’t comment on rumors or speculation,” a Yahoo! spokeswoman, asked about Mayer’s comments to employees as well as recent reports and chatter about layoffs, told The Post on Monday.

Marissa Mayer in 2014AP

Mayer’s taste for word games when it comes to firing people — in the past, she has insisted on calling layoffs “remixes” — has been a growing source of exasperation inside the company, according to current and former employees.

“I don’t think people want to be mollified — they want to be respected and trusted with facts so they can plan their lives — and also help,” one source close to the situation said.

Meanwhile, Mayer — scrambling to prepare a turnaround plan to present to investors on a quarterly earnings call slated for next week — faces intensifying pressure from activist hedge funds led by Starboard Value LP.

Earlier this month, Starboard explicitly demanded that Yahoo!’s board oust Mayer and sell the company. Weeks before, SpringOwl Asset Management called for firing as many as 9,000 of Yahoo!’s workers, who numbered 11,000 last June.

“By definition, their plan can’t be good enough if it’s anything short of, ‘We’re hiring bankers to explore selling the core business,’” a source close to Starboard said.

Some impatient investors are growing hopeful that Yahoo!’s board is beginning to listen.

After initially announcing plans to spin off Yahoo!’s core business, directors are now leaning toward selling it outright in accordance with activists’ wishes, sources said.

“The game has changed, the tail is no longer wagging the dog,” one shareholder exulted, blasting Mayer’s outsize influence over the board.

Still, another insider says Mayer “will never quit — it’s not who she is.”