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Like the catchy hooks of “Call Me Maybe,” there’s just no escaping it. V-Day is coming whether you like it or not. The hardest part is figuring out what kind of celebration is appropriate: too much and you’ll seem like an overeager creep; too little and you’ll be on an express train to Dumpsberg. We asked some relationship and dating experts to help guide you through the stages of Valentine’s Day depending on how long your love thang has been going on.
Two weeks
Two weeks is barely a speck in the world of New York City dating. Sure, you’ve still got to pray at the altar of St. Valentine, but don’t go too crazy and lovebomb the object of your affection.
“Keep it simple and restrict it to just a few hours,” says Jenev Caddell, a Manhattan relationship therapist.
Erika Christensen, who prowls the subways matchmaking for her company Train Spottings, suggests something cheap and easy. For dudes, she says, “Show her your creative side by meeting her on the pier at the 34th Street East River Ferry (bonus points for bringing spiked hot apple cider). Enjoy the city sights at night before disembarking at Brooklyn Bridge Park.”
One month
“You’re still trying to impress the girl after a month,” says Maria Avgitidis, a matchmaker and dating coach at Agape Match.
Go for something fun and activity-based, because it’ll provide an opportunity to get to know the person better, too.
Christensen suggests capitalizing on the passion with oysters at Grand Central, before leading your date to the whispering gallery, that part of the station that makes voices travel across the room, to whisper some sweet nothings. She recommends a subtle “Want to go home and make out?”
Three months
Here, is a schism in the political thinking of the New York dating scene. Avgitidis subscribes to the idea that three months is the time for the DTR (define the relationship) talk.
“Three months is a tricky [stage],” she says. “If you don’t know what you are yet, this is when you need to figure it out.”
She suggests Public at 210 Elizabeth St., which is a global cuisine restaurant in an old public school building.
“It’s really intimate, somewhere you can [talk],” she says.
Christensen says, “Assuming a good outcome, you and your new girl can cap the evening with a romantic stroll to the pier at North Fifth Street [in Brooklyn] or, as I like to call it, ‘Make-out point.’ ”
One year
The time has come to go above and beyond. The bonus this year is that Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday, followed by Presidents Day on Monday when a lot of people have off work, so you could make a whole weekend out of it.
“[A year means] you’ve made [a] commitment,” says Avgitidis. “Take a trip away. Go to DC or Boston.”
It’s also the perfect time to reflect, Caddell says.
“Studies have shown that couples who remember special times like their first dates are happier than those who don’t,” she says. “So talk about those moments and cherish them together. This kind of ‘meta-processing’ of your relationship — taking a step outside it and talking about your relationship and how it’s going — is healthy.”