The DOA Yankees will spend September paying homage to the great Mariano Rivera and having their postseason dreams stuffed into pinstriped coffins.
The soon-to-be dethroned defending AL East champions open a 10-game homestand tonight at Yankee Stadium against the Orioles and by the time the Red Sox finish a four-game deal next Sunday, One East 161st Street in The Bronx will be the world’s largest funeral parlor.
Following Wednesday night’s killer loss to the morbid Blue Jays in Toronto, Joe Girardi said, “We have to have a really, really good homestand.’’
David Robertson figures the Yankees need to win nine of the 10 games against the Orioles, White Sox and Red Sox.
Look at the Yankees objectively and do you see them winning nine of 10 against anybody? They just lost two of three to the Blue Jays when Phil Hughes and Hiroki Kuroda got tattooed by a lineup dotted with Triple-A players.
Pitching — especially the bullpen — kept the Yankees afloat for four months, but lately the starters have been digging graves.
On the 2-4 road trip that started with a 1-2 ledger against the Rays in St. Petersburg, Fla., the starters were 1-4 with a 5.35 ERA.
Kuroda got beat twice, Hughes’ nightmarish season continued and CC Sabathia, tonight’s starter, pitched better but absorbed a loss. Andy Pettitte provided seven shutout frames for the group’s only victory. Ivan Nova was effective in 62/3 innings in the lone win over the Rays, though he didn’t get the win.
“We have to win games, that’s the bottom line. We are playing the teams we are chasing for the most part,’’ said Derek Jeter, who returned from the disabled list Monday night in Toronto and has gone 3-for-12 (.250) with an RBI and four strikeouts in three games at short. “We need to play well. There is not much room for error. Every game is important. To win games we have to play better. [The homestand] is extremely important.’’
The A’s lost to the Tigers yesterday, so the Yankees are five games back in the race for the AL’s second wild-card spot with 29 games remaining.
The Yankees’ tragic number to be eliminated from the playoff chase is 25. A combination of Yankees losses and A’s wins totaling 25 closes out the Yankees.
“No doubt about that,’’ Brett Gardner said about this being a big homestand. “Any time you are playing the teams ahead of you one of two things can happen. You gain on them or fall back. Hopefully we have a good homestand and win series. We have played good at home (38-27). Hopefully we can get on a roll.’’
After spending most of the season without Alex Rodriguez, Mark Teixeira, Curtis Granderson and Jeter, the lineup has gone dry lately when all but Teixeira have rejoined the band that also added Alfonso Soriano.
During the six-game trip, the Yankees hit .203 (41-for-202) overall and .162 (6-for-37) with runners in scoring position.
Dead bats plus hittable pitches are a lethal combination.
Even if the Yankees pick it up at home, there is no guarantee they will improve their wild-card chances because the A’s, Indians and Orioles are all ahead of them, and it’s almost impossible to pass three teams this late in the season.
george.king@nypost.com