Michael Goodwin

Michael Goodwin

US News

Get ready for a Hillary 2016 blitz

Washington goes dark, ObamaCare sputters and Iran rattles the world. But even if Armageddon is just around the corner, we’ll always have the Clintons.

Like Zelig on steroids, Bill & Hill are photo-bombing America.

Her retirement as secretary of state lasted about 30 seconds before she started rolling out the rollout of her 2016 campaign.

The breathless teases about will she or won’t she can be ignored because of course she will. Fish gotta swim and a Clinton’s gotta run.

Besides, they can’t play their favorite sport — raising money from rich people — unless they have a cause. And the Clintons long ago decided there is no better cause than self-promotion.

Running for president is another exercise in celebrity branding and an excuse to hobnob with swells from the Hamptons to Hollywood.

It is also hilarious that the ex-president, as opposed to the potential president-in-waiting, is suddenly chief character witness for the current president. Monica Lewinsky’s ex as integrity authority!

No wonder Gennifer Flowers thinks she deserves 15 minutes more. Who is next, Paula Jones?

It is a measure of Barack Obama’s fading star that he needs a Clinton to boost his cred, and that he must commit himself to returning the favor when it’s her turn. Alone, each sinks, but together, they float. Go figure.

The Clinton juggernaut also reveals the bankrupt political culture. Their ability to command face time is unprecedented this side of the Kardashians, and the dreary competition is a major reason.

Yet if we think of the Clintons as just another troupe of attention whores, we must admit that we are their johns.

Hardly a day goes by when there isn’t a story about one of them, then a follow-up story about the story. The latest flurry, at least I think it’s the latest, concerns the two planned films about her that caused such Republican angst.

The expected wet sloppy kisses lacked a vital ingredient — Clinton approval. Facing the loss of image control after Hillary’s achievement-free spin at State, the Clintons demanded an omerta pledge from their entourage. They got it, the filmmakers got frozen out and presto — the projects died.

That’s power! That’s Clinton power!

It would be admirable if it had a purpose beyond their gratification. Recall that Saint Hillary’s rise as iconic symbol of all things female followed not a long slog of professional accomplishment but rather national humiliation. Her political career was born of sympathy, and even now it is impossible to separate their weird marriage from the sense that she is entitled to the presidency as compensation.

But inevitability is an unreliable rationale, as she learned in 2008. She was on a glide path until Obama and even creepy John Edwards beat her in Iowa. She was in danger of losing New Hampshire until she cried and kept the game going for five more months.

That all seems so long ago and far away, which further diminishes the appeal of her making history this time. Indeed, making history is overrated, as Obama’s disastrous tenure proves each day.

All of which means the Clintons must up their game if she is to extend the dynasty. It won’t be enough to show up and wave, make vacuous jokes about pantsuits and recycle worn-out arguments.

Americans are more polarized and less trusting than they were even five years ago, and don’t have much patience for symbolism. Most want serious answers to serious problems and won’t be satisfied with banal observations and partisan talking points.

It’s not clear where the nation is going, but it’s definitely not going backward. For now, the Clintons can play footsie with a fawning media, but the road to the Oval Office won’t be paved with photo ops and platitudes. Times have changed and Hillary will have to prove she has, too.

Advocate & caboodle nonsense

The city office of public advocate has been derided as powerless and useless except as a political stepping stone.

This is unfair because, by its very existence, the office pulls off a monumental triumph of language.
The title suggests that the officeholder uniquely bears the responsibility of advocating for the public. To call this an odd idea doesn’t begin to describe the absurdity.

Aren’t all public officeholders elected to advocate for the public? If not, what do they do and why do we have them?

Think of it this way. A New Yorker has, on the federal level, a president and vice president, two United States senators and a member of Congress to advocate for him.

On the state level, there is a governor and lieutenant governor, a comptroller, an attorney general, a state senator and a member of the Assembly.

In the city, a mayor, a comptroller, a member of the City Council, a district attorney and assorted judges are elected — along with the public advocate.

That adds up to about a score of elected officials and judges, yet only one is charged with being a public advocate?

In that case, we should pay that person more than the current $165,000 and boost the budget beyond the small, in government terms, total of $2.2 million.

In fact, here’s a modest proposal: Let’s eliminate the office of public advocate, or do away with all those other officials who don’t advocate for the public.

Which is it?

Crime time is looming

After a gang of motorcyclists took over the West Side Highway, they beat a man senseless who drove through them. And yesterday, a homeless man went on a rampage in Riverside Park, stabbing five people, including a toddler.

It would be easy to dismiss the incidents as savage aberrations, but they could also be a sign of things to come.

New York’s golden age of public safety is up in the air, thanks to relentless attacks on the NYPD. Twenty years of aggressive yet restrained policing saved thousands of lives and made Gotham the envy of crime-infested locales around the world.

Yet because Democrat Bill de Blasio made handcuffing cops a pillar of his mayoral campaign, he could quickly find himself on the hot seat if he wins City Hall and violence spikes. Now is the time for him to follow his GOP opponent, Joe Lhota, and make it clear he, too, won’t tolerate a return to the bad old days.

A-Rod ‘fans’ again

Alex Rodriguez is such damaged goods that the supporters who greeted him outside his Manhattan suspension hearing looked like a rent-a-crowd. A mere 50 people showed up to declare his innocence, or at least to argue that baseball’s suspension of 211 games was out of proportion to any guilt.

Their confusion is understandable. Rodriguez hasn’t denied he used performance-enhancing drugs, saying only he wants a fair “process.”

He should get that, then be sent packing, hopefully never again to taint Yankee Stadium with his presence.