Weird But True

Weird but true

This judge should write Anthony Weiner headlines.

Federal Judge Fred Biery filled a legal opinion with puerile puns in a lawsuit filed by strip clubs against San Antonio, Texas.

“Should the parties choose to string this case out to trial on the merits, the court encourages reasonable discovery to intercourse as they navigate the peaks and valleys of litigation, perhaps to a happy ending,” he wrote.

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A Florida burglar was busted after he stopped to play with a toy helicopter and snack on a salad in a home, police say.

Jason Lee Vickery, 23, even repaired to the bathroom for some personal time, cops say.

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The owner of a 1700s farmhouse in Salisbury, Pa., says town officials want him to replace his outhouse with a 20,000-gallon septic system.

Insisting the wooden john is no health hazard, Wilson Huyett, 77, said, “It ain’t bothering nobody.”

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A man in India allegedly let his son drive the family Ferrari for his birthday — when the boy turned 9.

Cops got involved after a video of the joy ride went viral. The boy has also allegedly driven the family Lamborghini and Bentley.

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The Russian army’s set to declare holy war, with parachuting priests who can drop in on an area — and pray.

They even tote snap-together churches with gilded Russian Orthodox icons on the outside.