It’s ingrained in the culture. Like divorce, death, taxes and Botox.
Men, those creatures who account for half the species, can be pleasant distractions or unhealthy habits. Like too much chocolate. Or excessive liposuction.
But the one thing men are not is necessary. If you have any doubts, ask Jennifer Aniston.
The world’s most famous childless divorcée, a dame who earns $27 million for a mediocre picture, made a profound statement on the sexes and her own biological clock while promoting her new movie, “The Switch” — the story of a single lady with limitless means who curls up with a turkey baster in order to get preggers. Not because she was dumped by Hollywood’s finest. It’s her choice. Cue Melissa Etheridge . . .
“Women are realizing more and more that you don’t have to settle. They don’t have to fiddle with a man to have that child,” said Aniston, 41. As if “fiddling” with a man was vaguely unpleasant. Like bedbugs. Or flying coach.
She pressed on: “The point of the movie is: What is it that defines family? It isn’t necessarily the traditional mother, father, two children and a dog named Spot. Love is love, and family is what is around you and who is in your immediate sphere. That is what I love about this movie. It is saying it is not the traditional sort of stereotype of what we have been taught as a society of what family is.”
So, the nuclear family is a “stereotype.” And your beloved dog Spot has been replaced by whoever happens to be hanging around your immediate sphere. With that ringing endorsement, women everywhere reached for the baster. (Hey — Calista Flockhart, Sheryl Crow, Jodie Foster and Murphy Brown did it. In heels!)
Then, a funny thing happened on the way to the artificial-insemination clinic. I hear a backlash. And from unexpected quarters.
“Women can be strong and do whatever we want all by ourselves — but that’s not the point,” said Mikki Morrissette, author of “Choosing Single Motherhood,” who fears stars give women unrealistic views about single motherhood.
“It would be great if women can find fathers,” she said. “I would say at least half would prefer to do this with a partner.”
When Mikki gave birth to Sophia, now 11, she was a six-figure Time Inc. editor who owned a Manhattan one-bedroom. But New York “was just a very expensive place to live as a single mother.” Also lonely. So after 18 years in the city, she returned to her home state of Minnesota. A guru to single moms, she never lies about the perils.
The statistics are oft-repeated, but too often rejected by the Hollywood crowd who wield their out-of-wedlock children like trophies: Daughters raised without fathers are more likely to get pregnant as teens. Dadless boys are more likely to wind up in jail.
Mom’s money doesn’t change this, but it helps pay for rehab. That fact isn’t lost on a friend whose husband died, leaving her with two little ones to raise alone.
“Great wealth brings great freedom. But the reality is there is nothing better for a child than being raised by two loving parents,” she said. “I would pick being dirt poor with my husband and our children than being a rich single mom any day — and that’s spoken by an impoverished widow.”
Dorian of Queens was abandoned by her husband, leaving her to raise two young sons alone.
“I thought we would just keep on having a sucky marriage forever. As miserable as my husband was, at least when they said, ‘Daddy!’ there was somebody there to say, ‘Yeah, what?’ ” she told me.
Even with her ex paying child support, she struggled. When the kids were sick, she had to take the day off work.
“There were times I paid more for day care for two children than I did for rent. There is no happy. The only kid that’s going to be happy is one whose mother is at home or can afford the best nanny. Jennifer Aniston can do that.”
Men may no longer be necessary, but they come in handy. Put down that turkey baster.
Pelosi’s got helluva job silencing all mosque foes
Nancy Pelosi is out to get me.
Last week, the online magazine Salon and The Washington Post traced the origins of the controversy surrounding the mosque near Ground Zero. And, Ground Zero for this fracas turned out to be this newspaper, my column in particular. A triumph?
Within days, whacked-out House Speaker Pelosi vowed to launch an investigation into mosque critics. The high-heeled bully vowed to root out how anti-mosque activists were funded — something that drew furious laughter from Queens construction worker Andy Sullivan.
“Andrea, can you tell me where those checks are being mailed so I can tap into those funds?” he said.
Andy’s Web site, bluecollarcorner.com, hosts a petition from fellow hard hats who vow they won’t lift a finger to build the mosque and cultural center. It’s gone viral. Andy estimates some 10,000 construction workers have pledged their support through signatures, e-mail, snail mail and street shout-outs
“I have people in Canada and England pledging support, and everywhere in between,” he said.
That’s a lot of people for Pelosi to shut up. Why not just move the mosque?
GRANNIES SHOW CANE-DO SPIRIT
Call it Grandma Justice. Victimized by kamikaze cyclists who see old folks as speed bumps, and stop lights as suggestions, aged Manhattan residents are taking the law into their wrinkled hands. They’re using canes to halt speed-demon cyclists.
Congregating near Stuyvesant Town, “they take their canes and put them on the street to make riders slow down,” said Regina Weld, who admits she’s participated. No one has been hurt.
A more constructive approach to fighting demon cyclists is being taken by Nancy Gruskin, whose husband was mowed down and killed last year by a bike deliveryman. She’s starting the Stuart C. Gruskin Family Foundation to fight for pedestrian rights. Find it at scgff.org.
All agree that something has to change. “At what point do you fight back?” asked Weld.
New coach plan just plane un-fare
Coach passengers are the airlines’ unloved children. We’re herded into cramped and inhuman spaces, our pockets emptied to pay for inedible food, checked baggage and, on one carrier, luggage that we haul on to the plane ourselves.
Now American Airlines has come up with the brilliant plan to charge a premium for the first few rows of coach. For the extra dough, passengers get to board early and stand a better chance of snagging space in the overhead bins.
I have another suggestion: Take the bus. There’s more dignity in dirty depots.
The diva of Queens
Behaving like notoriously vain Barbra Streisand, Queens Borough President Helen Marshall is billing taxpayers an astounding $85,000 next year to pay her personal photographer. I have an idea.
Make a hit record, Helen. Then we’ll talk about immortalizing your good side.