Sports

Hard to translate Mozgov’s breakout night

Mike D’Antoni showed a lot of restraint regarding Charles Barkley’s hackneyed observation that his system will never win a title.

Maybe that’ll turn out true. But already we know for sure Barkley can’t get anywhere using Nutrisystem.

Speaking of systems, it was easier to escape from Siberia during Stalin’s hands-on rule than it is to break out of D’Antoni’s dungeon.

So, like everyone else, I don’t have the slightest idea what to make of Timofey Mozgov’s 23 points, 14 rebounds and 40 minutes after being more covert than a drowsy Russian spy in a sleeper cell — other than those rookie highs (probably career as well) were recorded against the franchise previously known as the Pistons, whose center position was manned by a natural forward, Greg Monroe.

Walt Bellamy retired way too early.

By the way, any notion Knicks fans are more sophisticated than the average partial paying customer is dispelled every time they chant “MVP! MVP!” when Amar’e Stoudemire is shooting free throws for his barely-breaking-even team.

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Obviously there’s a little Larry Brown DNA in every coach. At a Jan. 24 press conference following the Magic’s home humiliation courtesy of those wild and crazy Pistons, Stan Van Gundy took responsibility (but not really) for Dwight Howard‘s away-from-the-ball foul on Monroe with 1:15 left on the game clock, an automatic one-shot foul and retention of the ball.

Orlando trailed 97-91 at the time and Ryan Anderson had just missed the second of two free throws.

“I told Dwight to foul Monroe if Ryan missed the second one, but I meant if he got the rebound,” Van Gundy told the gathering. “I assumed he knew the rule. It’s my fault, though. I should have made it clear what I meant, but I thought he knew the rule.”

In other words, the coach branded his team’s best player a dummy for not being on top of the rule after 6½ seasons.

Van Gundy went on to say, in essence, the team’s biggest problem was lack of focus. He and his staff had thoroughly prepared the players for every conceivable situation and they didn’t listen to a word.

Where’s ship social director Penny Hardaway when a mutiny needs to be coordinated?

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In the wake of Jim O’Brien‘s long overdue Indiana exodus, former Pacers associate coach Mike Brown (under Rick Carlisle) is the prohibitive favorite to take charge of the sidelines next season, regardless of whether Larry Bird and general manager David Morway are retained. Owner Herb Simon may be Brown’s biggest fan . . . other than Danny Ferry, who refused to sign the announcement of his Cavaliers firing and resigned soon after as GM rather than accept a one-year extension.

“I don’t care who takes over the Pacers,” e-mails column contributor Ricky St. Jean. “Until your so-called leader/best player, Danny Granger, starts to play defense you are going to lose. There’s no noticeable commitment on his part to play hard on either end, which means taking some contact. He is content to lose and score from beyond the 3-point line. How else can you explain 242 3-pointers vs. 229 free throw attempts?”

This just in: Bill Fitch says he feels good about these Cavaliers.

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Hakeem Olajuwon and Patrick Ewing were in attendance at last weekend’s Magic-Rockets game. Both confessed to being impressed with this year’s crop of Knicks City Dancers.

Greg Oden was parked on the Blazers’ bench for his 23rd birthday on Jan. 22. He made a wish and blew out a knee.

If all goes well, Brandon Roy hopes to return this season to do some color commentary in the playoffs.

The more I see of Blake Griffin in mid-air, the more I flash back to the original man-child, Shawn Kemp, before he devoted his life to being a man-producing child.

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During Sunday’s Lakers-Celtic game, the subject of Phil Jackson‘s successor came up. Jackson, the story went, was asked if he were going to offer any input into that choice.

“No,” he supposedly answered, but then we were told how he felt (former assistant and current Timberwolves strategist) Kurt Rambis would have been a worthy candidate.

“I bet Rambis wishes he had a do-over,” was the Jeff Van Gundy prattle.

I’m guessing so does ABC.

Apparently Bird, Kevin McHale and Robert Parish did walk through that door. How else do you explain the Celtics outrebounding the Lakers, 43-30, in their 13-point pushover?

In case you missed it, one of the gangsters who robbed Antoine Walker at gunpoint four years ago was sentenced to 13 years in prison after pleading guilty.

Seems the perps got away with thousands of ‘Toine’s IOUs.

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Think it might’ve been a bit awkward for Carmelo Anthony last night during the Nuggets’ visit to New Jersey?

Come to think of it, underlines column castigator Frank Drucker, “if Mikhail Prokhorov really wanted those negotiations to be conducted in private, you can’t get much more intimate than a Nets game.

“We’re talkin’ a Kardashian and, at most, three or four other boobs.”

This just in: Prokhorov said he’s ending negotiations for the Colonel’s 11 secret herbs and spices.

peter.vecsey@nypost.com