TODAY, Sci Fi becomes SyFy, possibly the dopiest name change since “McCall’s” changed to “Rosie” and shut down publication about 14 seconds later.
And to celebrate the new change, SyFy (how do you say that?) is launching a new series, “Warehouse 13,” the first of what they are calling their “imagine greater” programming. I can only say that after sitting trough the endless premiere, it’s more like “imagine lesser.”
“Warehouse 13” is about a warehouse in the badlands of South Dakota — which looks like a giant rusted building — that houses millions of supernatural objects, relics and “fantastical objects.” This whole gigantic place is watched over by one guy (yes, one guy), a long-time secret agent/nerd named Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubinek).
One day, two other secret agents who are (you’re kidding!) polar opposites — Pete Latimer (Eddie McClintock) and Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) — find themselves assigned by a boss they’ve never met (CCH Pounder), who only speaks in ironies, to work at this mad outpost in the barren hills.
They are chosen because Pete is very supernaturally sensitive and Myka’s got “a scrupulous eye for detail.” This, mind you, after she missed a guy with a knife, bleeding eyes and a glowing head sculpture while the president of the United States was walking into a museum. Call me a cynic, but I think even as a non-working secret agent, I would have noticed a glowing skull and a man with a bleeding eyes holding a knife.
Well, they get assigned anyway to investigate all the wackiness connected to the supernatural objects. Basically, even if you imagine greater, you’re still going to come up with a poor guy’s combination of “Torchwood” meets “Men In Black.” Call it “Men in Beige.”
Anyway, the first case involves a university student who has beaten up his girlfriend. No, it’s not just your run-of-the-mill domestic violence fraternity edition, but some sort of supernatural domestic violence — or so Artie believes and sends Pete and Myka to investigate.
Suffice to say that it involves ancient Italy and Lucrezia Borgia’s comb, which can cause more than just a bad hair day. Good watching for fans of those campy, old Sci Fi original monster movies.