Why am I not convinced?
Ex-Notre Dame football linebacker Manti Te’o claims he’s a gigantic rube. He fell in love with a girl he met nearly four years ago on Facebook — whom he never laid eyes upon and never touched, he told ESPN on Friday. The phantom gal pal had no birth certificate, Social Security number, driver’s license, tattoos or credit-card debt.
You’d think a guy would at least want to check if the love of his life had visible blemishes. Or a pulse. But this babe was never born. She never Googled. And she never died.
After her non-demise in September, from leukemia following a car accident or whatever, a death that supposedly occurred hours after Te’o’s grandma passed for real, it created a perfect storm of grief and a great excuse to play hooky. But Te’o, as the legend he personally repeated in interviews goes, heroically hit the gridiron.
For the dead girlfriend became Te’o’s reason for winning. She was his inspiration for leading the Fighting Irish to beat the pants off Michigan State and helping him become runner-up for the Heisman Trophy.
The story of Te’o’s rise from despair was lovely. It was also convenient.
Because Te’o’s invented girlfriend, known as “Lennay Kekua” was not present to give her side of the relationship.
Deadspin.com broke the story.
Te’o, 21, a Samoan who grew up in Hawaii and graduated from Notre Dame last month, needs America to believe he’s the victim of the biggest scam since Lance Armstrong and the Easter Bunny. It’s called “catfishing.’’
Innocent morons are convinced that, say, hairy, middle-aged men they meet online are really lovely, young things. Te’o says the hoax was perpetrated by a man, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, 22, who enlisted a cousin to play Kekua on the telephone.
Notre Dame football needs you to believe, too. Before all the facts came out, officials conceded that their star did a reverse Bill Clinton, saying words to the effect of “I did have sexual relations with that woman’’ — or, at least, I wanted to. They say he wasn’t lying. It’s about protecting a lucrative brand.
But so much of this doesn’t pass the smell test.
Is Te’o some kind of conniving operator? Or can anyone be as dumb as he claims (putting the validity of his college degree into question)?
He refused to go on camera Friday with ESPN’s Jeremy Schaap, perhaps because he clung to his agent like a life raft during the chat.
Te’o needs to explain why he continued to spin his tale of woe days after learning on Dec. 6 that Kekua didn’t exist. (He told Notre Dame about the hoax Dec. 26.)
Yet at the Heisman Trophy presentation in New York Dec. 8, he told South Bend, Ind., TV Web site WSBT.com, “I mean, I don’t like cancer at all. I lost both my grandparents and my girlfriend to cancer.’’
In a column published Dec. 10, he tugged at the heart strings of the Los Angeles Times, saying that Kekua “made me promise, when it [death] happened, that I would stay and play.’’
And what about his folks? In an Oct. 10 interview in the South Bend Tribune with Te’o’s parents, Brian and Ottilia, his folks said Te’o and Lennay met in person in November 2009.
“Every once in a while, she would travel to Hawaii, and that happened to be the time Manti was home, so he would meet with her there,’’ his dad said. “But within the last year, they became a couple. And we came to the realization that she could be our daughter-in-law. Sadly, it won’t happen now.’’
Was dad hallucinating? Covering up? Or is Te’o smarter than he looks to be able to fool his own dad?
Te’o now says he lied to his father to keep him from asking questions. Mmm’kay.
We live in a win-at-all-costs culture in which a young man’s judgment and character are easily perverted, provided he shows athletic talent. And Te’o stands to be a cash cow.
Weeks after Te’o’s mythical girlfriend died, he took up with a comely brunette, St. Mary’s College student Alexandra del Pilar, 21. By all accounts, she’s an actual person. But they’ve broken up, a source told The Post.
Whatever the truth in this twisted episode, Manti Te’o wins.
Lance keeps on spinning his lies
He didn’t seem to be sorry. With his options exhausted, former cyclist Lance Armstrong, who was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and Olympic bronze medal for using dope, was weirdly emotion free as he confessed to Oprah Winfrey that he’s a cheater. He teared up only when talking about his son.
At one point, he blamed his use of banned testosterone on his battle with testicular cancer. He said he took performance-enhancing drugs because everyone else did.
Even as he apologized bloodlessly to those he hurt, I didn’t believe him. This guy should be shunned.
Permanently.
A load of baloney!
The Subway “Footlong” sandwich is a myth. In four out of seven stores around the city, supposedly 12-inch heroes measure just 11 to 11.5 inches, an exhaustive Post investigation found. This, after Australian Matt Corby posted a photo online of a turkey sub next to a measuring tape. The morsel was a mere 11 inches long.
This means an every-other-day sandwich eater loses $100 a year in meat and cheese. Bite me, Subway! We need cheap protein.
Truth really stinks
Chelsea Handler’s writers were warned to lay off Matt Lauer by Comcast honchos unamused after the comedienne spoke the messy truth, Page Six reported.
Referring to Al Roker’s indelicate disclosure that he soiled himself on a visit to the White House, Handler said, “For years, it was common knowledge that Matt Lauer spent every morning [pooping] all over Ann Curry.’’ Comcast owns both E! and NBC. (An E! spokesman called the story “false.’’ And “Today’’ didn’t comment.)
You can’t fault Chelsea for speaking the truth.
Misfire by both sides in debate
The National Rifle Association has grown vicious. The NRA used President Obama’s kids in an anti-gun control ad, calling the president an “elitist hypocrite’’ for opposing armed guards in schools attended by ordinary Americans, while daughters Sasha and Malia enjoy armed protection by the Secret Service.
It didn’t help matters on the gun and kid front that Obama posed with four children last week, using them as props as he signed 23 executive orders designed to curtail the flow of deadly weapons. Rush Limbaugh called the kids a “human shield.’’
You don’t need to employ youngsters to prove something that should be obvious. There are just too many powerful firearms in circulation.
Leave kids out of it. Get the guns off the street.