Perhaps the snooze button doesn’t work in the Pacific Rim time zone (damn that high noon tip!), where the Lakers had way too many wasted possessions against the wide-eyed and bushy tailed Thunder.
But, hey, lipstick on a pig, a win’s a win, etc.
Cavaliers-Bulls: Methodical malaise.
Hawks-Bucks: Ditto. They lost this member of the TV audience long before uncut rookie diamond Brandon Jennings shimmy, shimmy koko-bopped to 34 points.
Magic-Bobcats: From force of habit, Larry Brown has listed himself as “day-to-day.”
Nuggets-Jazz: No Andrei Kirilenko going into Game 1, no Mehmet Okur coming out of Game 1, no shot of getting into Round 2.
Mavericks-Spurs: Gregg Popovich might want to commit to shutting down Dirk Nowitzki in Game 2 a little earlier than the fourth quarter, when he scored just four of his 36 points.
“I call that a moral victory,” Ben Roethlisberger said. “Like when they don’t press charges.”
Celtics-Heat: With Boston’s margin for madness minimal, Kevin Garnett clocked Quentin Richardson in the head with a windup elbow in a game already decided. For conduct unbecoming even a Counterfeit Ticket, he’s sentenced to sit out tonight’s Game 2.
The NBA . . . where asinine happens.
And then, just when it appeared the first weekend of the playoffs was going to be exclusively chalk talk, and visiting teams were going to take an 0-8 baby powder, the impaired Trail Blazers manufactured a startling 105-100 victory in Phoenix.
Minus leading man Brandon Roy (team high 21.5 points), the Blazers weren’t given a meniscus-cule chance against the Suns, scorching down the stretch (14 wins in final 16 games) of the irregular season.
What happened? Other than Robin Lopez being injured, you mean? Andre Miller happened!
For a guy who was unhappy (backing up Steve Blake) and unaccepted (by Roy and the local media huddled around his campfire) the first couple of months in Portland after signing a $21.8 million, three-year contract, the 34-year-old is quite snuggly in his upgraded role as pack leader.
Considering Miller was management’s fourth free-agent choice last summer, how does 31 points — highlighted by a trifecta with 4:28 left that gave the Blazers the lead, 88-87, for keeps — 10-for-10 from the line, eight rebounds and five assists grab you?
Hedo Turkoglu was recruited first, but the Raptors (regrettably, no doubt) upped the ante to $52 million for five years. The Blazers then signed Paul Millsap to a $32M, four-year offer sheet, which the Jazz matched. David Lee never got an official proposal, yet probably could have banked $28M for four had he not been so intent on remaining the Knicks’ numbers runner and unalterably resistant to waiting his turn as Portland’s frontcourt sub. Despite the fact Miller’s revised function (he had started 10 seasons for four teams) had been explained to him by coach Nate McMillan prior to signing, no sooner had the season commenced than substituting became a grating issue for him, too.
“I don’t b.s. guys,” McMillan said by cell yesterday from Phoenix, minutes before practice. “I told ‘Dre how I wanted to play him. I told him who’d be starting and what I felt he’d bring to the second unit. As it turns out, that’s pretty much what he’s now doing for the first unit — quarterbacking out of the post.
“But it’s not as if I’m inflexible. If you’re solid and consistently outplay someone in front of you, I’m not opposed to switching up things. I know being a reserve was hard on ‘Dre. I’m sure he looked at Blake and said, ‘I can kill him.’ ”
McMillan agreed there was a good deal of conversation early on about Roy’s scoring and ball-handling supposedly clashing with Miller’s similar style of play. Egos got bent out of shape. Emotions got stirred to a simmer.
“I envisioned no problems,” McMillan said. “Rajon Rondo and Andre, are very much alike, though Rajon isn’t as good a perimeter shooter, and look how he plays off Ray Allen. They know where to place themselves. I knew Andre could do that and play with Brandon.”
In due course, strengths and limitations were learned. Adjustments were made according to capabilities. New offensive sets were designed. Eventually, a balance was struck. Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge and Miller all got attack time in the post.
“After a while ‘Dre got comfortable,” McMillan said.
When exactly did that happen, I asked?
“Probably after our altercation,” he chuckled. My PR people are telling me to end this. I gotta go.”
Written accounts by reporters standing on the other side of the closed Jan. 7 practice stressed feelings weren’t spared. It was between the two of them. Everyone else just listened. I implored McMillan to expound a bit.
“We just needed to get some things out and we moved on from there. I told ‘Dre this isn’t necessarily a situation of it being my way or the highway, but how we do things in Portland. I told him he had to adjust to me and to us, and we needed to adjust to him, the team and myself,
“Andre is open-minded. So am I. After exchanging ideas and opinions, my message to him was, ‘You do things different and we’ll do things different.’ ”
Are the Suns ever sorry something wasn’t lost in translation.