Don’t worry — if this were terrorism we’d already be dead!
A sassy subway conductor used a little dark humor to calm a car full of anxious commuters who were stuck in a tunnel for almost two hours during the Friday morning rush.
“I can’t tell you how long it will be, but at least we know it’s not a terrorist attack — because they would have blown us up by now, or let out the gas or whatever and killed us,” Paquita Williams, 55, cheerfully told riders, according to straphanger Laura Lane.
“So that’s good. Just be calm. Everyone bust out Candy Crush. You have air conditioning. Relax!”
Williams, of Jamaica, Queens, told The Post she was operating the A train out of Lefferts Boulevard when there was a power outage around 9 a.m. near 81st Street.
The first thing she did was reassure everyone the stop had nothing to do with terrorism.
“She was really hilarious about the situation and cracking jokes. She was so funny,” said Lane, 28, who lives in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
“Everyone went from upset and annoyed to being super calm. Her sense of humor about the situation loosened everyone in the car up.”
Many riders took pictures of her, and some shot video.
Williams helped find snacks for a diabetic woman, and gave out paper towels and hand sanitizer to riders who out of desperation relieved themselves between cars.
“I hope this is in the news so my boss finally believes me,” grumbled one passenger who was late for work.
The train was held for an hour and 47 minutes, and most riders showed incredible calm — laughing and bonding with one another.
Williams chatted with a nanny and looked at pictures of the children she took care of. She also told riders how they could get paperwork proving they were late because of the train.
“One lady joked, ‘Let’s do it again — the same time, same place!’ Everyone felt a connection with her,” said Lane.
Only one customer lost his cool, telling Williams, “I need to read the manual and learn how to fix the f–king train.”
But the mother of four, who has three foster daughters, drew on her experience as a mom to keep calm.
“I said, ‘It’s not the train, it’s the power!’ ”
“I got teenagers and a 4-year-old,” she said. “When the guy was yelling and cursing, it was in one ear and out the other.”
The power outage was caused when a metal plate on the tracks somehow made contact with the third rail near 81st Street, according to an MTA spokesman.
Four A and D trains were stuck — including one with a pregnant rider, who fainted and had to wait almost 90 minutes before she could leave the subway for medical treatment
Williams’ co-workers weren’t surprised that she kept everyone calm and amused.
“That’s who she is,” said terminal dispatcher Rafael Martinez, 55. “She takes over and does what she needs to do to make sure everyone is comfortable and taken care of.”