The new ABC series “Trophy Wife” is “The Brady Bunch” on steroids. It depicts the trials and tribulations of a young newlywed who has to deal with lots of stepkids — as well as her older husband’s exes.
And it hits the nail on the head.
I should know: I lived that life. One day you’re single and singing karaoke after being dumped by some jerk — the next minute, you meet HIM. He’s everything your ex isn’t: charming, well-raised, older, educated, owns a home and has a job. He’s easy to fall for, and he makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room.
But he’s got baggage, and plenty of it.
I dated losers until I met Gilles, who was older, French and smelled like Guerlain’s Vetiver cologne: the polar opposite of everyone I had dated.
On “Trophy Wife,” Kate (Malin Akerman) is a colorful young bride who all of a sudden has a lot to deal with. Lucky for her, at least, her husband’s ex-wife wasn’t Elle Macpherson! Mine was, and I had to be compared to “the Body” my entire married life.
I used to ask myself how I could ever measure up.
Kate has to deal with the ex-wives club, too. Her confidence and charm are infectious as she treads not so lightly in her new environs. First wife Diane (Marcia Gay Harden) is a prestigious doctor who really has her act together. The second wife, played by Michaela Watkins, is a tree-hugging free spirit who loves massage and reflecting on the universe.
Not only does Kate have to navigate their personalities, she has to endure it every week, because her new husband (Bradley Whitford) has children with both wives. Every Wednesday and every weekend, Kate’s house is packed with children under the age of 16.
Like Kate, I had a stepdaughter who was a just few years younger than I. Gilles’ oldest daughter is brilliant and charming, so I enjoyed befriending her. Still, it was strange being only a few years apart. Like Kate’s stepdaughter, Gilles’ daughter would ask me questions I didn’t feel comfortable answering — intimate details you typically share with a bestie and not your husband’s daughter. She’d introduce me to guys she knew her dad would hate, just to see what I would say.
On the show, Kate tells her stepdaughter stories of how she snuck alcohol in water bottles to pregame, but I quickly learned that listening got me a lot further with my stepdaughter than dishing on my own experiences (plus, you never know when they’re going to use your stories as a kind of how-to manual for getting into trouble).
My favorite scene in “Trophy Wife” is when Kate goes to her stepson’s middle school to talk to his teacher. The first wife and Kate end up hearing what a young, creative male mind thinks of the opposite sex. Of course, Kate is accused as the object of his desire. The last wife is always the go-to for any blame or shame. We are the ones who “caused it all,” no matter what.
With two ex-wives who are at odds and a chaotic cross-section of stepkids, including an adopted Asian boy and two precocious teenagers, to round out the family, “Trophy Wife” is accurate and hilarious.
Kelly Killoren Bensimon is a former model, star of “Real Housewives of New York” and author. She has two children with her ex-husband, fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon.