It’s February in New York, and across the city, the finer hotels are booked to capacity. Glamorous parties abound, and behind the scenes, skinny bitches are having their hair and nails done, getting ready to strut for a discerning audience.
No, we’re not talking about Fashion Week — but rather the Westminster Kennel Club’s 134th annual dog show, which takes place Monday and Tuesday. Unlike the fashionistas at Bryant Park, these models won’t hesitate to devour a 4-pound steak, relieve themselves on the nearest fire hydrant and forgo the after-party at Avenue. As Madison Square Garden prepares to evaluate the canine crème de la crème, The Post took David Frei, the show’s host of 21 years and a licensed judge, to Tompkins Square Park to check out the local talent.
While not all these pups are purebreds — a Westminster requirement — he says a lot of them still have the right stuff.
“Your own dog is best in show. There’s no question,” says Frei, who owns a cavalier King Charles spaniel and a Brittany.
“If you’re sitting at home and you have a boxer sitting on the couch next to you, you’re going to be rooting for the boxer in the show. You’re going to say, ‘Hey, you and I could be out there, too, if I just fed you a few less cookies and maybe gave you a bath every month rather than every six months.’ ”
Frei agreed to ignore the rigid technical principles applied to the 2,500 dogs competing at the Garden — and instead concentrate on what makes the canines at the local dog park unique.
Right out of the gate we found our Best Hair winner: a handsome Australian shepherd named Ash whose owner, Jack Barley, could’ve won the award as well.
“I brush him once a day,” says Barley of the 1½-year-old pooch, claiming Ash recently did a photo shoot with the indie band Vampire Weekend. In addition to Ash’s handsome locks, Frei noted that our blue ribbon winner also has two blue eyes, which is rare for this breed.
Moving on, there were no bones about our award for Biggest Dog. At 110-pounds, a 1½-year-old Bernese mountain dog named Esse took the prize.
When Augustus, a 4½-month-old Neapolitan mastiff, grows up to be 150 pounds, that title will likely be his. Right now, he’ll have to settle for our Cutest Puppy honors.
“There’s no such thing as an ugly puppy,” Frei adds.
Augustus was still bigger than Ivan, a Yorkshire terrier who — at about 5 pounds — won our Smallest Dog award.
Our next prize went to another pint-size pooch — our Best Dressed winner Zula, a French bulldog sporting a black-and-white skull-and-crossbones sweater.
“It isn’t even her best outfit,” claims Zula’s walker, Chelsea Gavin, noting her client “has a Chihuahua sister — they have matching outfits.”
One breed is so popular that Frei gave it its own category. Scotties are “the No. 1 dog in the country right now,” he says, and they’re expected to fare well at Westminster this year. (Scottish terrier Sadie is the paws-down favorite to win next week.)
Among the canines present, however, Frei’s Best Scottie choice was Memphis, a 12-year-old born in France.
There’s no mongrel category at Westminster, but if there were, our Best Mix winner, Leela, would be a strong candidate.
“She has a great look to her,” says Frei of the bulldog-beagle mix.
But when it came down to it, a purebred pooch took the biscuit. Frei awarded the grand-prize Best in Park to Niko, a 9-month-old beagle who he said had the best shot of competing at MSG.
Not that his owner Renata Rzepko would have much say in the matter.
“Sure, why not?” Rzepko said. “But he does his own thing.”
The Westminster Kennel Club dog show airs Monday on USA Network from 8 to 9 p.m., then on CNBC from 9 to 11 p.m. Tuesday, the show runs from 8 to 11 p.m. on USA.