When in doubt, sing.
Justin Bieber’s voice, abs, dance moves – and wink – carried this weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live,” a 90-minute celebration of all things Bieber. The episode could stand as a suitable comedy-laced sequel to his 3-D concert film “Never Say Never.”
Bieber, 18, hosted and performed. And when the humor fell short he pulled from his repertoire, using melodies and charm to make his fans swoon.
Bieber’s monologue celebrated February, a month that honors romance – as well as black history.
“I’m looking for one special girl to help me find love and maybe also the great progress African-Americans have made in the nation,” he said.
Cast member Kenan Thompson emerged with a handful of roses and black history flashcards, ready to assist. Justin could have used the flashcards.
Biebs bowed in front of audience members, handing out flowers and spouting misguided black history facts. For the record, Denzel Washington and Maya Angelou did not invent the peanut.
After a bit of confusion and indecision, JB spotted his special someone – Whoopi Goldberg, the megastar seated in the front row. He escorted her to the stage and serenaded her. Whoopi beamed. Lots of people wanted to switch places with her.
Bieber showcased his talents – and faced some criticisms – in a professional body doubles skit that featured a dozen Bieber wannabes decked in black leather and crooked caps.
Bieber’s bodyguard (cast member Jason Sudeikis) assembled the doubles to provide concert security for the pop superstar.
“Pretty uncanny, right?” the bodyguard asked.
“What? No, they look nothing like me. Half of them are girls,” Bieber said.
“Yeah … that’s our A-team right there.”
“Some of them are black. They’re not fooling anybody.”
“Neither are you homey.”
The decoys sang and danced and performed the Bieber crotch grab. And there was Justin, one-upping his would-be doppelgangers.
Following a dance-off with a doughy decoy – played by cast member Bobby Moynahan – Bieber lifted the hem of his shirt, showing his six-pack to the cheering audience.
The decoy hemmed and froze before removing his cap and sheepishly walking away.
“Alright, good luck you guys,” he said, out-Biebered.
As the real Justin Bieber studied the crew of body doubles, one of the decoys caught his eye … Ellen DeGeneres (Kate McKinnon).
“I came backstage to say great job Bieber,” she said before dancing away.
With Bieber rejecting the fill-ins, his bodyguard showed a true “Bodyguard” moment, scooping the singer into his arms and carrying him through a crowd of fans while singing Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You.”
Bieber laid on the romance – and the ick – in a Valentine’s Day romance skit that showed him sending crotch shots to a politician.
“Check your email, Hillary Clinton,” he said, winking at the camera.
He also donned Lederhosen in a reality show spoof called “The S—theads of Salzburg.” Other mock TV shows featured in the commercial include “A Coppola Coconuts” and “The Count of Cabo,” a show about a modern-day Mexican vampire (played by cast member Fred Armisen). “Count of Cabo” might be the most disturbingly watchable fake show ever imagined.
The episode opened by skewering CBS’s Super Bowl outage coverage, capturing the commentators’ on-air game of ‘hot potato.’
In one exchange, sideline reporter Steve Tasker (Taran Killem) sent the coverage back to the anchor desk with host James Brown (Thompson).
Brown sent the coverage back to Tasker. Tasker sent it back. Brown deflected. Eventually Tasker disappeared, the live shot empty, the spotlight vacated.
As the commentators tried to kill time they broached uncomfortable topics such as Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis’s previous brushes with the legal system – and Dan Marino’s illegitimate child, a story first reported by The Post.
“C’mon – We agreed that was off limits,” Marino (Sudeikis) fumed.
“That was before, Dan Marino,” Brown responded. “This is a new world now.”
Pieces of Bieber’s new world emerged in a second-half installment of the “Miley Cyrus Show,” with the teen star appearing as the head of Miley’s fan club.
The segment started with Bieber’s character spouting the usual gripes – he looks like a lesbian, he’s still a child. But amid the character assault, clarity emerged.
“I also heard he got busted for smoking weed,” Bieber said about himself, addressing unflattering party photos that emerged last month. “And he’s really sorry about it, and people make mistakes, and he’s never going to do it again.”
“Miley,” herself familiar with the difficulties of shifting from teen superstardom to adulthood, laughed off the disclosure. Mistakes? Sure. Nobody’s perfect, especially Justin Bieber. But that wink …