Okay. I get it.
It’s not how tough the workout is. It’s how you feel the morning after.
With the summer long gone, it’s really time to hit the gym again. No more replacing treadmill tracks with long walks on the beach.
Let’s face it: Roller-blading is just not an option (anyway, it takes way too long to figure out what to wear).
When I saw the latest gym-class schedules, I was confused. With all the innovative and gimmick-y classes – from simple ashtanga yoga to the Fireman’s Widow Workout – I wanted to make sure that I got my full hour’s worth, working every muscle in my body.
Watching all the cool stunts on reality shows like “Survivor” and “Fear Factor” made me antsy for some hardcore sweating. It made me think of those days after-school when I would run circles around the track field, doing intervals and competing in races.
So, to get my endorphins flowing, I decided to go back to the basics and test out the city’s most intense, extreme, boot camp-style workout classes.
Read below for my take on some of the most torturous and extreme workout classes Manhattan has to offer.
PAIN AND PLEASURE
Since when did torture become so much fun? Never. Trainers Victor Self and Derek Nicholas enjoy thinking that it is, while teasing participants in their 60-minute weight-training class.
“Do you think they could do another set?” asks Self.
“No,” says Nicholas. “I think they can do another two sets.”
In a tight, glass-encased room, both instructors see everything, and there is absolutely no cheating in this class.
They have you do painful set after painful set of squats and lunges, push-ups and other tough exercises with barbells, weights and a step. If your tricep dips aren’t close enough to the step, one of them will be sure to fix it. If your squat isn’t low enough, one of them will make sure you do it right. The only relief: the Russian Baths after the class.
David Barton Gym, 215 W. 23rd St., (212) 414-2022. http://www.davidbartongym.com
PRACTICE
Gym-goers can’t help but stare through the glass windows of this class as instructor Eric Von Frohlich rips everyone’s bodies apart.
I have never taken a harder class in my life.
“Pace yourself,” said Von Frohlich, over blasting music, as he makes you do one-arm push-ups on a step. “It’s only going to get harder.”
Great. Between lunges, squats, mountain climbers, step climbing, cardio drills and weight lifting, Von Frohlich has you do hundreds, yes hundreds, of push-ups.
I cracked up laughing out of shock and delirium when he made us do one-legged squats with a weight. The idea is to plop your butt down on the step while holding up one leg. The entire class was grunting and moaning and rolling their eyes.
Just when you think the torture is over, he makes you do more squats with a weight, lifting it in the air while bending down.
The only fun part of the 60 minutes was the end (of course), where Von Frohlich coaches you into odd stretch positions, where somehow your right leg ends up touching your head. Trust me: It’s a great relief.
Equinox, 140 E. 63rd St., (212) 750-4900. http://www.equinoxfitness.com.
PRE-SEASON SPORTS CONDITIONING
This class is a lot like trying out for the football team (or field hockey for the gals) in high school – except it’s in a wooden-floored studio with mirrors.
Agility ladders are lined up down the floor, alongside a straight line of orange cones. The instructor “Ray Ray” splits the class in two teams (the slow and the fast team), and assigns “what-you-talking-about-Willis”-type drill exercises, from hopping on one foot up the white plastic ladder to getting down into push-up position and hopping right back up to a standing position down the ladder.
The more drills you do, the harder it gets. And if you try to cheat, Ray Ray will creep up next to you and do it alongside you, yelling and pushing the whole way.
Ray Ray ends the class by having you pick a partner. I teamed up with a sweaty (but sweet) married man, who assured me: “I cheat.” Phew.
Even so, doing one-armed push-ups and frog jumping over eight-tiered steps for 30-second drills is near impossible to do perfectly. By the time the 45-minute-long class was over, the wood floors were covered with sweat.
New York Sports Club, 633 Third Ave., (212) 661-8500. http://www.nysc.com
SPEED M.D.S.I.
Short for Multi-Directional Sprinting Intervals, instructor Joe Dorr will have you running in circles, lines, trapezoids and hectagons.
This class raises the heart rate and keeps it there. Dorr implements agility ladders and orange cones into the first portion of the class, where you are instructed to sprint from one side of the room to the next – as fast as you can. Then stop. Then go backwards. Then shuffle side-to-side. This goes on for a good half-hour. What kept me going were the people behind me. If they got too close, they got mad, so I pushed my way through it after falling behind twice.
Dorr was constantly telling us to switch directions, and I was so busy worrying about doing it right, I lost track of time.
As if that’s not enough, Dorr then makes you run up the stairs in the fitness center – all the way to the top. No cheating.
Of course, we end with some push-ups.
The Sports Club/LA, 330 E. 61st St., (212) 355-5100.
LIQUID STRENGTH
At first I was laughing because this class seemed so easy. But the slow movement and the fact that you are in a squat position the entire time, makes it harder in the long run.
Instructor Story Maley has the class do cool exercises with the weight bar, like pretending it is a rifle, or a paddle on a boat riding through the river, or a sword blocking rebels in an episode of “Lord of the Rings.”
“It’s always stimulating,” says Stefanie Parlow, a 32-year-old pregnant real estate agent who took the class.
“You use your own body weight in a way that I have never experienced. Everytime I take this class, my whole body feels it.”
Immediately after the class, I understood what she meant. I could feel my triceps bulging, my back aching and fatigue had set in. While the other classes may have been tougher to do, this one hurt more. I think I awakened muscles that had been asleep for a long time.
Crunch Gyms, 623 Broadway, (212) 420-0507. http://www.crunch.com.