WE HERE at Fantasy Tracker are easily starstruck. Show us a celebrity and we get giddy. So to satisfy our lust for fame, we went to the Fantasy Tracker phone line for this week’s edition. This is what various celebs might have said about this week’s fantasy action, had we actually called them:
SUZYN WALDMAN:Oh my goodness gracious! Of all the dramatic things I’ve ever seen, Derek Anderson just threw five touchdown passes vs. the Bengals!
CHRIS RUSSO: Sure he looked great against the Bengals. But he plays the Raiders, Ravens and Patriots the next three weeks. You can’t start him in any of those games. He’s a phony! You can’t start him! You can’t!
MICHAEL KAY: Despite LaDainian Tomlinson’s slow start, he’s still our favorite back. He’s been an every-week starter since when, Don?
DON LaGRECA: 1947.
KAY: Since 1947. So don’t abandon him now. If you panic and trade him, you’ve sent a clear message to your chances of a fantasy title. That message: See ya!
O.J. SIMPSON: Looks like LaMont Jordan was a real steal. But some of his stats don’t really belong to him. Dominic Rhodes will be back after Week 4 to reclaim carries that are rightfully his. I didn’t draft Jordan, but if I did, I would start him this week vs. the Browns, then try to trade him.
BILL BELICHICK: It looks like DeShawn Wynn is the better fantasy commodity in the Green Bay backfield. I’ve seen the video. In fact, I snuck the guy into the stadium that shot the video. Wynn is going to score more than Brandon Jackson.
LINDSAY LOHAN: There was Michael Vick, then Joey Harrington, now Byron Leftwich. I’m not sure who has a longer streak of bad decisions, me or the Falcons.
BRITNEY SPEARS: At least anyone who has Maurice Jones-Drew on their roster is a bigger loser than me. Then again, fantasy owners can trade him. There’s not much I can do. My career is in worse shape than the Giants defense.
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dloftis@nypost.com